To Hell with Gaza

Each of the boys and girls will deliver a moving speech about wanting to live and being full of dreams, and then commit suicide against the occupation like Gandhi fasted against the occupation, and then blow themselves up before the eyes of the world. It will be a suicide attack on consciousness

The Berlin Wall  (Source)

I dreamed I was the Prime Minister of Gaza. And I'm constantly dreaming of how to break out of the siege. Because it seems that here the occupation has reached its final stage - after it ended! - which is the stage of life after death: in Israel it's paradise, and here it's hell. And my office is hell incarnate, a job worse than the tortures of the Inquisition, and just the effort to keep myself whole costs me my sanity. On my knees bounces someone crazy enough to jump here, so that Israel - which is very precise in eliminating - can't hit me in the heart, and he's constantly barking because he thinks he's a dog, and I can't think. While on my shoulders sits another madman who fled here, so that the surgical drone can't shoot me in the head, and he's meowing that he's a cat. Under the table hides the entire Gaza government waiting for instructions, so I try to write but I'm constantly disturbed by the third hand they attached to me, of an Israeli soldier, which I take out of the freezer every day, so that Israel, which is capable of hitting a fly with a precision missile, can't hit my hand, and no deodorant helps against the stench that emanates. And I just bend down to give instructions and already I bump into a stinking leg from hell under the table, also our prisoner, so that Israel can't shoot my legs, at which it excels. Is this how the Arab mind is supposed to think of patents?

And the mad dog and the miserable cat don't stop fighting with each other, until suddenly the dog takes a bite of my third hand, and I scream like a madman: Do you know how many freed prisoners each finger is worth? Spit them out immediately! And a deathly silence falls in the office. And soon ideas arise. What can you do when you're trapped in a hellish, depressing, suffocating and black world. How can you reach the outside at all, which doesn't care about you at all. What kind of troll can you be. Only the famous Arab imagination will rescue you from here. To defeat the Jews, you need to think with the enemy's mind.

First, to break through the wall of indifference, the hermetic blockade and oppression, we need to learn from Israel in Egypt. If we send babies in baskets to Israel via the sea, it will shock the world, and it won't be able to harden its heart. The navy will be forced to search for papyrus baskets with Gazan babies, to prevent them from reaching Israel and crying. Then we'll give them a plague of the river, and destroy the entire aquifer, for no obstacle can disconnect the coastal plain aquifer from Gaza. We'll take the pipe and stream all of Gaza's sewage into the groundwater, so that even in Tel Aviv they'll drink Gaza's water, and our shit will stink up their place. We'll line up all the men on the coastal strip facing the desalination plants and order them: One two three pee, so the Israelis will drink our urine.

Then we'll organize the Mediterranean Sea crossing, like the Sea of Galilee swim or the parting of the Red Sea, we'll organize masses to swim to Israel and we'll see Israel stopping them. Then we'll send them white doves, like carrier pigeons or peace doves, only under each dove will be spontaneous combustible material, and the moment it ignites the dove will fall and roast them with it. Then we'll try to shock the world with suicide bombers, who instead of exploding in Israel, which they're not succeeding at, will come and blow themselves up in suicide as a protest against the siege in Gaza City Square, before all the cameras, and each of the boys and girls will deliver a moving speech about wanting to live and being full of dreams, and commit suicide against the occupation like Gandhi fasted against the occupation - and then blow themselves up before the eyes of the world. It will be a suicide attack on consciousness.

And if the world remains indifferent then we'll put the youth in a gas chamber and kill them to show that our situation is worse than the Holocaust, and the Israelis are worse than Nazis, and we're in the biggest ghetto in the world, and to this the world won't be able to close its eyes. And if the world is indifferent to violence then it won't be indifferent to sex. And we'll launch a cyber operation to break into Israelis' phones and we'll make revenge porn for Israel for private individuals, we'll try to photograph and record them, and it's enough if we publish nude photos of a few Israeli women and it will shock the Israelis. And if we manage to film from the smartphone a senior military or government official having sex with his wife, and threaten to publish the tape, it will be equivalent to an assassination, and really add to awareness. I can already see the red headlines: Porn Terror!

And if we don't succeed then we'll try to launch Palestinian babies on rockets to Israel, and Iron Dome won't be able to intercept them because it's against international law. Or we'll attach Gazan children to hydrogen-filled hot air balloons and tell them to ignite the balloon when they cross the border. And if they continue not to hear us then we'll organize a constant protest scream throughout Gaza, at a set time every person in the Strip, everyone screaming with all their might in the streets! - until it becomes an attraction in the world media, and maybe even the echoes of the noise will be heard in Israel. Or we'll try to forcibly take all the mirrors of Gaza's women and blind the Israelis. And maybe, if Israel has blocked us on land, air and sea, we'll try to launch rockets into space, in a Palestinian space program, we'll try to aim Qassams at the sky until maybe one succeeds and we'll reach the moon. Or we'll sit in an eastern-style sitting and try to transmit bad thoughts to the Israelis. And maybe, really, if there's no material solution, because the Israelis control matter, we'll try to find a solution in spirit. If in the three dimensions of space we're blocked, consciousness is still open to us. Even if it's impossible to escape in reality, I can close my eyes and escape in a dream.

And how is it possible, when there's no way out? Maybe with the help of language. After all, it's clear that the depth of the Israeli attitude towards the Strip is closely related to the fact that their first association with Gaza [Aza in Hebrew] is Azazel [a demon in Jewish mythology]. And from there it's not far to scapegoat [literally "goat for Azazel"]. If Gaza was called Jerusalem, for example, they would raise it to their greatest joy. So the first thing to change image is to change name. If Mohammed won't come out of Gaza - Gaza will come out of Mohammed. And so we can escape from Gaza, and be somewhere else, without the Israelis being able to prevent it, if we just change the name of Gaza. For example to Shtreimel [a fur hat worn by some Hasidic Jews]. We'll see the announcer reporting that Israel attacked in Shtreimel, and the cabinet convening for an urgent meeting because of Shtreimel. Or maybe to Cat. We'll see the IDF spokesman announcing that the air force attacked Cat last night, and the government announcing that Israel declares war on Cat. Or maybe the simplest is to just change to Dream. And we'll see the Chief of Staff announcing that Israel attacked in Dream, and the Prime Minister announcing that Israel is fighting Dream.