The Coordination Law

What you don't understand, or don't know, is that the Druze are Shiites. And the Sunnis and Shiites hate each other much more than they hate Jews

Stealing the Blessings - Hubert Flink (Source)

I dreamed that they tell me there's a gentile in the synagogue. And everyone examines each other as if by the fold of the tallit [prayer shawl] on the kippah [skullcap] one could see if you're circumcised. And I ask myself what kind of idiot gentile would be willing to wake up for Selichot [penitential prayers], when I myself haven't yet woken up from the dream, even though technically in the Temple there was a Court of Gentiles (with a partition) just like the Women's Court. And here I identify in the empty Women's Court that Druze politician from TV that others thought was just a Frank [European], because Druze are circumcised - to get a 97 profile [high military fitness rating]. And he's swaying like a lulav [palm branch used on Sukkot] and beating his chest: Today I'm beating my chest for the sin of betraying my Arab brothers, and pretending to be more Jewish than a Jew.

- But why in the synagogue?

- Well, do you understand my problem?

And I take advantage of the opportunity of meeting one of these: Tell me, honestly I never understood, what got into your heads to join the Jews, even the Christians here preferred to be on the side of the Muslims and not ours.

- What you don't understand, or don't know, is that the Druze are Shiites. And the Sunnis and Shiites hate each other much more than they hate Jews. But now we're in trouble. The Jews changed the law to make the acronym IDF stand for "Israel's Jewish Army", and we won't be able to serve anymore. So we're demanding to add an amendment to the law, which will give us status and establish a Druze militia alongside the IDF called the Druze Army for Israel - DAI. And he continues to pray: "If as sons - have mercy on us as a father has mercy on his sons, and if as servants - our eyes are dependent on you..."

And I say to him: You don't need to be offended. The Jews themselves are not a nation at all. It's a completely modern idea.

- So what, a religion?

- What religion, that's a Christian idea. That's how Christianity defined itself in order to integrate into the Roman Empire - the Pauline patent! - and therefore us as another religion. These are not Jewish concepts.

And the Druze takes advantage of the opportunity that he met one of these: Yes, the secular are completely confused. So tell me, I never managed to understand, what is this Judaism, what's your deal with this thing that you can't manage to free yourselves from for 2000 years, and you even return here to recreate the trauma?

And I answer: The word "Judaism" is itself the secular mistake, and is derived from "Christianity". Jews see themselves as a family, as the children of Israel, or as descendants of Abraham our father. True, they are called the people of Israel, but we've become so accustomed to the word Israel that we've forgotten it's a proper name, it's like the people of John, and that Jews are simply the sons of Judah. That's why we insult and fight with each other all the time, precisely because we are brothers, and brothers always fight, unlike normal peoples. And like in every family quarrel, there are fixed roles. The leftist brother loves to tattle to the imaginary parents that if the rightist brother continues like this - then he will no longer be part of this family! And the rightist brother loves to shout that this is exactly the proof that the leftist brother himself is not part of the family! And so they sit at the same table in fixed places for twenty years already, always with the same jokes about the uncle from America (money has no brains), and the same kicks under the table and the same: Mom, tell him! When mom has long been in the ground, but this is precisely how they honor her memory and continue the family tradition.

So if they insult you, and shout that you're not part of the family, it's the biggest compliment Jews can give. And if you also make a sulky face but continue to sit at the table in a fixed ritual - it's the best sign that you too have become like us, the best Polish family from Aram Naharaim [Mesopotamia], the one that brought us the expulsion of Ishmael, the stealing of the blessings, the selling of Joseph, and a sister who steals her sister's husband on the wedding night, and then they bring 12 children just to poke each other's eyes out, together the tribes of Israel.