The Birds

She asks me: "How don't you know?". And I say that she never shares with me what's happening in her marriage, in intimate matters, and I assumed nothing was happening. And she hums: "It happened just now, two days ago". And I say that I just talked to her and she didn't tell me anything. And if it's from two days ago, it's not as terrible as she describes. Maybe it's just a small crisis and it will pass. And she's excited: "You don't know what she managed to do in these two days". And I say: What could she have possibly done?

There's no God in the heavens and no birds on the ceiling  (Source)

I dreamed that I was talking a lot with my beautiful secular friend about my issues, and not asking her at all what's happening with her. And then after I leave to go back to the black city, her best friend, whom I've never spoken to but know about from my friend, suddenly talks to me. And the friend of my friend says to me on the phone: "What, you don't know? She separated from her husband". And the friend is really against her separating from him, and "What does she want, she's gone completely mad", and asks me: "How don't you know?".
And I say that she never shares with me what's happening in her marriage, in intimate matters, and I assumed nothing was happening.
And she hums: "It happened just now, two days ago".
And I say that I just talked to her and she didn't tell me anything. And if it's from two days ago, it's not as terrible as she describes. Maybe it's just a small crisis and it will pass.
And she's excited: "You don't know what she managed to do in these two days".
And I say: What could she have possibly done?
And she says: "She became a lesbian, she already has a female partner".

And I say to my friend's confidante: "What, you're a woman. Is she attracted to you? Didn't you know if she was attracted to you all her life? How come you didn't tell me, so I could have talked to her before and told her my story?" (Even though I've never seen this agitated friend in my life, and I have no idea how she has my number). And I want to show that I understand too, like a secular person, and that she can trust me with the secret, so I casually add: "And you should know, I once talked on a dating site with a social worker for lesbian couples, and I was surprised - a social worker for lesbians, and she said: 'You'd be surprised but there are many cases of severe violence, the ugliest divorces are between lesbians'. And I was surprised: Aren't they the sweetest without men? And she said: 'The most terrible things you don't want to know. And that's my specialty, such cases, it's not like when there's a father, children torn between mom and mom. It's not a pair of doves'."
And the friend interrupts me: She's not attracted to me so I didn't know. You're also a man, and her friend, although it's not clear what you're doing here at all, the way you look (how does she know how I look?) - did you think she was attracted to you?

And I go back to my friend and say: What's happening with your marriage, we never talk about it, why, why am I the only one telling you what's happening with me, it's so one-sided. And she starts to tell me something unclear and I tell her: I already know. And we're at her house, and I tell her: Why didn't you learn a lesson from me about divorcing, it's cold out there, shouldn't you have learned a lesson from all my stories? Or on the contrary, did it whet your appetite? Because if so, you didn't understand anything. And it seems to me that maybe it's a bit because of my overly colorful stories (which I made up entirely. Including the wonderful divorce. So she wouldn't think I'm some kind of pervert or something, looking for a secular woman outside of marriage). And I tell her: Is the woman you're with beautiful? I don't believe you that it's just from now, within a day that you found her, surely she existed during the marriage.

And then she says: Yes, she's a lecturer with me at the university. And I say is she beautiful? And she says yes, and I say: I don't believe you. Because I believe you're with a woman, because you have the capability, the ability to be attracted to a woman, I always felt that. But I don't believe that you're the butch and she's the femme, because you're the femme (meaning too beautiful and feminine, I think in the dream, but don't tell her, just hint). It doesn't suit you at all. It's true that your husband is not a sociable guy but. I try to identify with and support you in everything. Especially in the crisis you're in. And I've always worried about you like a parent that you wouldn't do stupid things, but it's hard for me because you've gone crazy, you have seven children (in reality only two), and the children are jumping everywhere and interrupting the conversation, and it's already getting very late, and her husband suddenly arrives at the door, because she says that since the divorce is fresh (it's the first time she uses this word and it seems she's actually very decided and sure and settled) and the divorce is only two days old so he doesn't have set hours yet and he intentionally comes at five in the morning to check if she's cheating on him, and then she takes advantage of him coming in and goes outside (because he'll watch the kids and she can slip away), and he asks me what are you doing here.

And suddenly this secular guy has a stubbly beard and looks like a fresh yeshiva student, comes with a white shirt. And I tell him in hints, so as not to explicitly tell him and anger him, that he has nothing to worry about what I as a husband would worry about in such a situation, because the thief's hat is burning [Translator's note: Hebrew idiom meaning "the guilty party betrays themselves"] and I don't want to say explicitly, but it seems he understands something. And I remind him that I was married and that I know what this thing is. And he doesn't know what to do and I tell him it's just a small crisis and it will pass, even though it's clear to me that they're divorcing and it's the end, and that she's totally into the girl despite it being very strange. Because the girl is kind of fat albeit with large and huge breasts, and looks like my ex-wife after she gained weight after the divorce and completely deteriorated, and my friend is beautiful and much more than her. And I always thought their marriage was the most stable in the world and they were a boring pair of doves, and especially that she was the most stable and conservative and peaceful dove and wouldn't do anything. And it seems to me that the girl is just an excuse, because he's not sociable and a bit autistic and doesn't listen to me and probably terrible in bed and nebbish - and he leaves, maybe to look for her, who probably went to this girl. And he puts on his black suit wings and looks like a raven distancing into the night. And I think what kind of couple is this: a raven and a dove.

And I'm left with all seven children who are going wild and I tell them quiet, taking the position of the responsible adult, listen children, because all the children are panicking and stressed about what's happening and that the house is falling apart even though they don't understand they feel it and behave accordingly like animals and make noise in their heads. And I tell them loudly come, there's a crisis in your parents' marriage (I intentionally don't say divorce), and such things happen in life, it's not pleasant and you're right to destroy the house and make a mess and chirp, and the children quiet down and listen because they understand that finally someone is telling them the truth.

And I say (even though I never talk about it) that you should know it's not easy to raise children and I had an autistic daughter (even though to this day they don't know what she had, and I've never said this word even to myself, I find myself saying: "autistic") and raising her is like raising four children so I know (and I wonder if the children even know what this word means but my words are received with trust even if they don't understand), but your parents need to deal with their problems now, so you need to be quiet to let them deal in silence, because they're probably going nowhere. And for such a journey you need silence like that of sleep and dream, from experience, so please don't disturb and chirp.

And the children are quiet even though their parents aren't even home, and it seems to me that maybe the children will remember this moment when they're grown up when they were told that their family fell apart, and so I suddenly feel responsible to add and tell the truth, that no one says, that no one else will tell them. And I say that you should know that it's possible the crisis will be resolved, and it's very possible that it won't, but even if it doesn't - then it will be okay, it really will be okay, I know from experience. Although really really, but this is just me telling you, and don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone I said, but really really really - it won't be okay. It will never be okay again, everything I'm telling you is from experience and that's why I also feel that I mustn't deceive you, unlike everyone else, including your parents, who mustn't not deceive you. And the children go to sleep after not sleeping all night and I woke up in the morning to the noise of birds in the tree by the window that sounded exactly like the noise of the children.