A Strong Cat for Israel's Future

There's a right-wing mafia in the deep state - in the army, the stock exchange, the rabbinate - planted there by the previous right-wing Bibi, and it's impossible to overcome it, so peace can't be made. But look your cat in the eyes, do you want a right-wing prime minister?

Weak weak weak like a poor cat (Source)

I dreamed that a leftist Bibi arose. And he incites against right-wingers and it's already shameful to be called right-wing. Even right-wing parties now call themselves moderate left, sane left, and extreme right-wing parties call themselves: center-left. While on the left itself, truly extreme (that is, radical) parties appear such as "Weak Left", "International Power", or the thugs of "Rabin Lives", who haven't forgiven the right for Rabin and beat up settlers in the street and spray graffiti on synagogues to lead the masses astray: "Written on Shabbat. Forbidden to read!" or "Don't look. Not modest!" and draw a naked woman underneath so they can't resist looking and God will be angry with them.

And leftist Bibi brands himself as a "weak leader", although in practice he is a very strong leader, but the people yearn for weak leadership. And that's how he explains why he doesn't remove the checkpoints, even though every day he shouts that he's for land for peace, or reviving the disengagement plan, or ending the occupation, because there's a right-wing mafia in the deep state, in the army, the stock exchange, the rabbinate, planted there by the previous right-wing Bibi, and it's impossible to overcome it so nothing can be done. And if the Europeans tell him to make peace already before the people change again, he whispers I really want to but I can't, because I'm weak weak weak like a poor cat, because the left loves the weak and the miserable and victims of external circumstances, and I must keep my base, I can barely leave the house.

And his wife Hagar is an ultra-leftist and forces him to eat only leaves and walk to the office and recycle every paper and every decision, and if she catches someone who printed on new paper without a previous decision or threw a small note from a government meeting outside the recycling bin - she screams like a slaughtered animal and throws everything at hand into the compost, including laptops, and there are recordings of her terrifying rampages: "The bin belongs to cats! Not documents. C-A-T-S!". And he says see, I can't even control my wife how can I manage to control the country. It's all the fault of these right-wingers, these thugs, who abuse me just because I'm a true leftist, just because I'm the person who leads the State of Israel to peace the most. They want to do to me what they did to Rabin. They can't stand those who promote human and animal rights and the rights of the weak in society like me. I would forgive everything, except for their abuse of my dear wife Hagar through intentional damage to the ozone.

But the terrible and frightening right-wing forcefulness will not deter me from always standing on the side of the weak and the victim, on your side dear leftists. I can't even manage public transportation on Shabbat against them, because the right-wingers control religion and Shabbat entry times and who do you think are those driving like maniacs on the roads and overtaking good leftists like you from the right? The dangerous right-wingers, and even the police are secretly right-wing in their hearts so they don't stop them, and see where the conspiracy leads - taxi drivers are all right-wing, and incite bus drivers against me, even though I acted, ordered action, and will continue to order action for peace.

But thanks to me, the main thing is thanks to me, the right-wingers are not in power. I am the great barrier against the rise of the right and the polluting settlement enterprises and war with Egypt and Saudi Arabia and the fundamentalist tsunami and the ultra-Orthodox monsoon and the Hasidic El Niño. If the right-wingers came to power, war would immediately break out and the cemeteries would be filled with good-seeking leftists like you, and your cats would be left alone and starve to death. Look your cat in the eyes, do you want a right-wing prime minister?

And every so often, leftist Bibi travels to America and preaches to them in Congress about rights for blacks, and LGBTQ+, and the right of cats to life, and shows how many cats live in Israel and how we take care of the natives, the cats who were here before us, and he pulls out a poster of a smiling cat and says that the government under his leadership has brought a 27% increase in happiness levels of cats in Israel according to the government Bureau of Statistics, and that the Israeli cat is the happiest cat in the world, and all the Democrats give him thunderous applause, and the leftist heart expands in the living room.

And then he travels to the UN, these are the moments every leftist waits for, how the Prime Minister of Israel, in accordance with the vision of the prophets, preaches to everyone about human rights and cat rights, because in every leftist there is a hidden preacher, who loves to preach to the gentiles and spread light to them. And the enlightened and righteous leftist Prime Minister speaks passionately, inspiringly, electrifying the empty plenary of the General Assembly:

Today, if you didn't know (here a reproachful tone, so beloved by the left, creeps into his voice), is International Cat Day. In Israel, we have rights even for black cats, and LGBTQ+ cats, and we fund gender reassignment surgeries for cats and tail reconstruction, and benefits for victims of dogs and their helpers. Citizens of the world, I appeal to you personally, the global right-wing media doesn't tell you, but yesterday like every day thousands of cats died - even in the "enlightened" Western world - in strange deaths (dramatic pause). Cats are persecuted by dogs. Run over by cars. Sometimes even out of their terrible distress they gouge out each other's eyes when a female cat passes by. Poor cats are forced to eat mice to survive. Cats that could have been saved if you were enlightened like the Israelis, lovers of humans and cats, as was Amos Oz of blessed memory - a noble cat lover, who in his death bequeathed the cat to us.

Just yesterday we witnessed a shocking case of fascist-racist cat poisoning against the feline race, which if you didn't know is in its soul of the tiger race (just smaller). Therefore, out of identification with the ancient feline people persecuted for two thousand years and meowing like our small nation, today - and in a moving gesture he stands up and jumps on the podium: Today - I say and declare before the people and the world: I too am a cat. Today, all Israelis stand and call: We too are cats! And so I will be the first to speak at the UN in the ancient cat language, to give voice to all the silenced cats living among us, and he bursts into moving cries from the roar of his heart: Meow meow meowwww... and even the right-wingers can't help but identify and secretly pride themselves - when their Prime Minister wails boldly against the whole world, like a true Jew.