Peace Begins Within Us

If I were the Prime Minister, the first thing I would do is find a religious solution to the conflict with the Muslims. I would turn the Jews in the country into dhimmis [protected non-Muslim subjects] according to Sharia law by paying the jizya tax - and put an end to the conflict. I'm in favor of Ahmadinejad being the president of the State of Israel

Giving up pork for peace (Source)

I dreamed that the leftists are going crazy because religious people are pressing the button that launches missiles with their noses on Shabbat, or selling the country to an Arab during the Sabbatical year, or that there's no Jewish nationality because an Eritrean can convert, and then all the synagogues will be forced to accept him and call him up to the Torah (I wonder why they haven't thought of this solution to the terrible danger to life?), and that even Moses, the founder of the racist religion, married a Cushite woman, which in their eyes is like Hitler marrying a Jewish woman. And I go berserk, like every time the secular people drive me crazy and I penetrate their hardcore to communicate with it, and I call myself "missile launcher with the nose," or "converted Eritrean," or "stammering prophet married to an Afro-Midianite," and I put a picture of a black guy with a black shtreimel [fur hat worn by some Hasidic Jews] (it turns them on), and in the private pictures I put a lulav [palm branch used during Sukkot]. And I pester the secular people who are looking for a Haredi for the night and I take out my frustrations on them, and I write in a line that runs at the top of the entire site:

It's exactly because of all these things that there won't be peace between you and the Arabs! The problem with secular people is that they're so proud of having Western thinking like the enlightened Christians, that they're unable to grasp the halakhic thinking, which is shared by Judaism and Islam. That's why they also can't understand the concept of legal fiction, or fiction in general. Because if the law is man-made, then it's subject to secular logic, but if the law is from heaven, no logic is needed, and then the secular mind goes crazy, because it's not logical that there's no logic, it's really not rational, not realistic, in a dream everything is allowed. So go make an agreement between Western law and Eastern law, it's a dialogue of the deaf, like a straight guy hitting on a gay guy. On the other hand, Halakha and Sharia get along excellently.

And a well-known leftist professor starts hitting on me (at first I didn't understand who's hitting on whom when you're both men, and I quickly learned that the older one hits on the younger one): Sounds like you're not in the right place. But come on, let's see you get along with the Arabs, even we who are much more moral than you didn't succeed. I've been following you for a while. You love to f*ck with people's minds so much. Are you sure you're not straight?

And I write the historic solution to the conflict in the profile that no one reads because everyone only looks at the pictures and gets really excited about the lulav:

If I were Prime Minister, the first thing I would do is find a religious solution to the conflict with the Muslims. I would appoint a permanent Muslim president without powers and formally turn the Jews in the country into dhimmis according to Sharia, by paying a symbolic jizya tax of 18 dinars, and put an end to the conflict, just like we sell the state's chametz [leavened food products] to an Arab on Passover. But within the Muslim world, I would choose to be subject to the Shiites, and create a Shiite continuum from Iran to Israel, because the Hasidic Shiites are on the rise and the Sunni opposing world is rotten, and mainly because the conditions of dhimmitude according to Shia are excellent, unlike the conditions of the Sunnis, the Pact of Umar, which are unacceptable. I'm in favor of Ahmadinejad being the president of the State of Israel. He will also help us fight drunkenness and pigs in the public space, which is the only real content in the Shia conditions. So I hope the secular people will agree to give up pork for peace. Or at least be honest that the conflict is because of pork.

And then an Arab gay guy writes to me: Shu hada? [What's this?]