The Israel-Russia War

We are the sinners who allowed Assad to slaughter hundreds of thousands a hundred kilometers from here with complete indifference, and now we're paying for it

Russia as a Paper Bear (Source)

I dreamed that it all started when Russia deployed S300 batteries, and the Israelis didn't want to be seen as suckers, which is the security doctrine of the State of Israel. So in response, the IDF launched Operation "Monkeys to Flight". While the Military Police can't manage to catch ultra-Orthodox men in yeshivas, in a special operation they caught a draft-dodging monkey hiding in a cage at the Biblical Zoo, who after an abbreviated flight course was put on a fighter jet straight into the depths of Syria. The new batteries fired like crazy at the UAM (Unmanned Ape Machine), which continued to sail like a drunk between the missiles until it fell - and the brave soldier parachuted into the Lebanon forest. The world media was shocked by the downing of the first F35 aircraft in enemy territory and the fall of an Israeli pilot deep in Lebanon for the first time since the Lebanon War, and Nasrallah laughed: Is this the best air force in the world? Extensive forces of Hezbollah and Syria set out on a manhunt in a race against time to create Ron Arad 2 [Translator's note: Ron Arad was an Israeli Air Force navigator who went missing in action in 1986]. No one was surprised that in response to the global humiliation and the downing of the stealth aircraft by the Syrian batteries, which on that occasion also exposed themselves, Israel destroyed them with radar-guided missiles. The drama surrounding the missing pilot in the world media was at its peak for a week, when Hezbollah finally found a monkey hanging on a tree in Air Force uniform. The IDF Chief of Staff in a trolling of Nasrallah: "We are ready to release a thousand terrorists in exchange for an Israeli monkey." The world exploded with laughter and a photo album of "Kopiko in the Air Force" [Translator's note: Kopiko is a popular Israeli children's book character who is a monkey] courtesy of the IDF Spokesperson became a global hit on social media.

And I say to my wife in bed: This time the Zionists have gone completely mad. Don't they know what the Russians did to Chabad? They will bring disaster upon us all. According to Kabbalah, the North is the side of the Sitra Achra [Translator's note: "The Other Side", referring to evil forces in Kabbalah] - "Evil will open from the North"! It's not for nothing that there's peace with the Arabs of the South and not with the North. Egypt didn't destroy any Temple. This is exactly the hubris that caused us to rebel against Assyria and Babylon, contrary to the warnings of the prophets. This is the central geopolitical message of the entire Bible. What, haven't they learned anything?

Indeed, the Russians laughed less. They also didn't want to be seen as suckers, in accordance with Russia's security doctrine, and therefore announced that this time they would deploy S400 batteries. In response, the Prime Minister went to Russia, and on the return flight took the embassy staff with him in a protest move, in what was perceived as a severe crisis in relations between the countries, and a "Haaretz" commentator interpreted: A strategic victory for Iran - it succeeded in causing conflict between Israel and a world power. How great was the surprise of the commentators when that very night the entire Air Force took to the air and destroyed the batteries in one night and shot down several Russian fighter jets that came out to defend them in the first air battles between Israel and Russia since 1970, which ended then with a score of 5:0 for Israel. Putin was furious and promised revenge, but it turned out that Europe, Britain and the US strongly support Israel, in the sense that finally someone is setting a limit for Putin, and apparently only the Israelis are crazy enough to do it. The entire Western intelligence community, which has a long account with Russia, mobilized to help Israel deliver a knockout blow. In the arena important to Israel (due to Holocaust complexes) - its image in the West - the crisis actually caused a wave of sympathy for it, while a severe anti-Semitic wave swept through Russia. Each additional exchange of blows between the IDF and the Russian army exposed its internal rot, the neglect of its equipment, its poor human level and technological inferiority compared to Western weapons, and presented Russia as a paper bear. The Russians did equip Iran with advanced weapon systems in revenge, but the blow to the prestige of the Russian military industry was severe, its sales plummeted and Russian weapons lost their deterrence. There is a God.

And my wife says to me in bed: You see what salvations God is doing for Israel. You know what I heard on the radio? Putin in gematria [Translator's note: Hebrew numerology] equals "filth". And why are they together? Because Russia in gematria equals Syria. What does the prophet say? Do not fear these two smoldering stubs. And I say to her: Again you listened to your Kookist [Translator's note: followers of Rabbi Kook's religious Zionist philosophy] rebbetzin? Just as it doesn't help in gender relations, it won't help in international relations either. Let me tell you what's happening: The US and Obama the war criminal, who has the blood of half a million Syrians on his hands, in the sense of "Do not stand idly by your neighbor's blood", received for this a punishment from God called Trump. And we sinners too, who allowed Assad to slaughter hundreds of thousands a hundred kilometers from here, with complete indifference, are now paying a heavy price in a punishment called Putin. There is no moral vacuum. Syria is Israel's great moral failure. Not the occupation. And did you see any leftist who shouted about it? Except for Rabbi Berland, but he's a certified nutcase and a serial rapist. Shame and disgrace. If we had intervened in time with a humanitarian motive in the civil war, we could have overthrown the arch-butcher at minimal cost, and we would have gained real appreciation from the Sunni Arabs, and this would have been a real opening for reconciliation with the Arab world. But you'll see how God will punish Israel for not learning a lesson after the Holocaust to prevent genocide.

Indeed, Russia was not left helpless. In its distress, Russia turned to cyber weapons, and brought upon Israel a plague of darkness for three days. In response, Israel took control of parts of Russian communications for three days and opened the censored internet, allowing for the first time the general public in Russia to be exposed to anti-Putin propaganda, which was perceived as a painful hit to the Tsar's Achilles heel. Putin couldn't restrain himself and began a widespread anti-Semitic hunt and arrests of "traitors" from the Jewish community. This move turned out to be a fatal mistake, which actively mobilized the US and Europe against him while imposing paralyzing sanctions on the Russian economy and causing the Russian ruble to plummet at rates similar to the collapse of the Iranian rial. When Moscow announced that it was aiming nuclear missiles at Jerusalem, Jerusalem made a similar announcement, and when Russian nuclear submarines were seen off the coast of Tel Aviv, parallel submarines peeked near St. Petersburg, and the nuclear dimension cooled the conflict to the level of a cold war. In the final account, Israel lost about two hundred civilians and soldiers from Russian attacks, about the same as in the Second Lebanon War, and on the other hand gained a new kind of deterrence for its willingness to confront a superpower, which for the first time positioned it as an equal global player in the playing field of the great powers. So may all Your enemies perish, O Lord, and may those who love Him be like the rising of the sun in its might!

And my wife says to me in bed: Well, morning. Wake up already from the dream. You're snoring in my ear.