The Dream of Knowledge I dreamed they were holding bar mitzvahs for dead students. And distributing to them, upon exiting the cemetery, the Book of Proverbs, the bar mitzvah book, the book of knowledge. This book will warn you against the Song of Songs, the Book of Zohar, and will direct you to Ecclesiastes, the book of the days of darkness. For the enemy of love is not hate, but indifference and reality. This is how we will defeat German romanticism, which invaded even Jewish thought, and turned it into bad taste, which is the post-Holocaust equivalent of the evil inclination, and the Holocaust is the spiritual source of bad taste in the world! And the teacher walks among the plots and checks that no tzitzit [ritual fringes] are coming out of any grave, and says: I never thought I would cry because a student didn't know sin. And he says to the one who revives the dead: We must have, instead of the sin of knowledge - the sin of life. It is precisely non-sex that is the sin. The Holocaust is not the sin of death, but the sin of life. We need a new story, because the story of Eden is no longer valid, we need the story of Hell. A new foundation for culture. Not counting from the beginning, but counting backwards. Not the story of the creation of the world and the creation of man, but the story of the end of the world and the end of man. And perhaps, actually, in the final reckoning, in hindsight of hindsights, it was indeed a mistake to include the Song of Songs in the Bible. Because once you gave a foothold to the evil inclination in the holy, from there it grows, and turned into the Zoharic monster, wrapped everything in the Divine Presence, in the idolatry of incest - and from this comes the romanticism of bloodshed. To the Holocaust. And the one who revives says: But try to remember. Don't erase everything. You also had beautiful moments with your wife... And the teacher: There are no women in the Holocaust.
And the snake and the head walk together in the newly dug corridors, and everyone who sees them is left with an open mouth, how can it be, what are they suddenly walking together, like two friends and not enemies. And the head moves around without guards, without anything, and everything, as if from time immemorial, the inconceivable is natural. The snake's head. And the head tells the snake, as if it's some bedtime story and the snake is in bed, and the head next to him tells him: When I arrived at Auschwitz, when I arrived by an unconventional route to the Auschwitz headquarters, by the way the Rebbe commanded. You weren't there yet, it was in the previous generation of the system. Or at least you weren't who you are today, he winks, and the snake coils up. And the head continues: What I remember from Auschwitz is only the smell, the smell of the Germans' sausages, and I, who hadn't eaten meat for years, would salivate, from the pork! And I would run to the bathroom and vomit my soul out. And there in the bathroom, there was a door - always occupied, as if there's always someone there, waiting for something to come out, but this time all the stalls were closed, and I had to - had to spit out the saliva that came into my mouth from the pork, and I did what I did, what no one dared to do before, and here in the prisoners' bathroom - sits a German. And out of sheer amazement, I spat in his face. And he pointed to the toilet and told me: Sit. He had a kind of desk there. As if I had come for an interview. And it said there: Education Officer. Auschwitz Camp. And here I see, that he has books there. That he reads in the place of impurity, in the bathroom, the only place Hitler allows, books by Jews. Tales, literary nightmares. Nachman, Kafka! And he sees me astonished, I interrupted him in the middle of reading, I caught him, and he barks at me: Yes! From here I draw ideas, from here I learn how the German world can defeat the Jewish soul, how the German spirit extinguishes the Jewish soul. And this is how Hitler falls asleep every night. When he wakes up. -But this is degenerate literature! -Exactly, from here he degenerates, the literature, from here he learns the nightmare. The nightmare will defeat the Jewish dream. When I hear the word dream, I reach for my watch. And he shows me the clock on the ceiling: Germany above all! And Judaism beneath all. The doctrine of nightmares. And therefore we must not allow the doctrine of dreams, it is the only one that can defeat us within the night. Because we have defeated the world - we have defeated the day - from within the night and darkness and nightmare, it's easy. But in the world of night, others can come, and then from there defeat the world of day. This is World War II.
And suddenly - a black alarm - and one of the students is startled: Are the Nazis coming? And they run in the corridors they run, crawl in the tunnels they crawl, hide in holes, disappear into the ground, hide in closets in the library, and finally some guards come shouting: Scandal! A woman was found in the Rebbe's bed, and they continue quickly. And all the students whisper: A woman? Is there such a thing? And the one who knows something says: The woman in the Holocaust. And all the students gather around him: Is there still such a thing as a woman? I want to know too! Why do only you know? Let me know... And they almost destroy him. And the teacher shouts: Quiet! And he sees that it doesn't help, so he whispers: Noise! And suddenly everyone listens, who whispers, what, whispers. You hear that. And the teacher opens to interpret the form: Night unto night reveals knowledge. The nocturnal revolution is the sexual revolution! The Holocaust stripped man, and left naked sexuality, which will take over the world. The Holocaust killed the form of writing about love - the novel, it eliminated the triangle of man woman snake. And what new clothing can be given to the instinct, that will give it what love gave? We propose - creativity. It will replace love, in all its roles, love of God will become creation of God. And what form of life will there be instead of marriage, in what system will children grow up and learn, instead of school, when there is no more home and no more book, and no more the book that is the home - the Torah - but the home that is the book: the homepage that falls from the book. A book within a page! And what sin mechanism will activate man's heart's desire within the Torah, now that the sin of knowledge is dead? For if the destruction was the slaughter of the idolatry instinct, then now in the Holocaust will be the slaughter of the evil inclination. And the instinct will become meaningless, devoid of moral value, Satan will yet weep over the Holocaust, there will no longer be an evil side, because there will no longer be sides, the world will be naked. One-sided. After all, for the other side you need the first side! There will no longer be men and women, two sexes, but sex - one. Only a difference based on creativity and not on instinct will be able to reproduce again the feminine and masculine world, which was nullified when the snake between them disappeared. A new desire that will bring a new system that will bring new children - not "more children" - but children of a new kind, instead of the dead students. And this is the mistake of women, not enough inversion! Currently the curse has only been reversed, and the woman rules over you, for your desire is for her. Not a revolution is needed, not from side to side - but inside out. The spirit will be naked - and will hide the body in secret. Creative inversion! The most obvious things will be terrible secrets - and the most hidden secrets will be the obvious things. Hitler is Satan's sexual organ.
And the mouse sits at the head of his Sabbath table and says: Look what we stole last night from what was left of the Germans' refrigerator - cheese with black holes. And the prophetess rat says: That's nothing, look what I stole from the future, from the Germans' Sabbath meal tomorrow - a pig's nose with holes. And the little mole girl says: That's nothing, look what I'm stealing from a Jewish child who's starving to death - bread with holes. And the mouse blesses the hole: Who brings forth a hole from the earth. And the mouse asks the mole: So, what Torah insight did you hear today in the bunker. And the mole says: Today was a special day in the bunker. The Jews came out of all the tunnels. The secret weapon against the Nazis has arrived. The Jewish rat has arrived! -What? And the mouse looks with worried eyes as the prophetess's eyes cloud over. - Yes, I saw with my own eyes how the bad student shouts: Trojan horse! And the teacher hits him and tells him: Shh...be quiet. And it seems to the mouse that the pig's nose from the future is still alive, because it hasn't been slaughtered yet, and it's now smelling him. It wants to eat his cheese. And he jumps: Get out, unclean one, it's forbidden to mix meat and milk. And the rat says to him: Don't ruin the Sabbath table! What message are we giving to the mole? And the little mole sees that it's starting and hides under the table. And the rat says: You see? Because of you she'll end up with a Jew. And the mouse can't contain himself: So marry the rat, if you want a Jew. And she smiles, and he feels like biting her nose. And the prophetess warms up: Is this your Torah insight? Is this what you bring home? So we'll turn into Jews! The underground beneath the world... Do you know why they always say they're gnawing? From within, from within, we'll thwart... All the things they do underground, where do you think they're digging towards? What's the connection between the words inside and under? And between mouse and elephant? And monkey and needle? Where is the allegory of the cave hidden in the Torah?... And the rat continues with a long feminine Torah insight like the exile, with endless prophetic winks. She's digging in my head again, thinks the mouse, who has long been dreaming and not listening, and is almost sleeping while awake. But suddenly, an act of Satan, just when he's almost asleep, holes suddenly come out of the ceiling - cracking, breaking, alarm - as if all of Germany is stepping on the head - the tunnel shakes entirely - contracting and expanding - in some kind of deranged feminine pleasure - and a snake-like whisper is heard, a satanic lesson from hell: Order, new order! Knowledge is already dry as a tree, and now - the new sexuality will defeat the moldy knowledge. The curses, they are not nullified, as was supposed to happen, as in the rectification of the original sin - they are reversed! To your wife will be your desire and she will rule over you, that's what you think, right, but it's not enough, it's not everything, because also regarding the snake, also regarding the snake... Now he, who was the lowest, under her feet - he is the highest! No, she will not crush, but desire - and to the snake will be her desire and he will rule over her. He is in her head and she wants only the tail, and there will be affection between her and him, and between her and his seed. The curse will not be removed from man but will simply be reversed, there will be no redemption. True, the woman will be number 1 and the man will be number 2, losing twice. But what they didn't understand - that the snake will be number 0, above the woman. For here comes the world to come, after the world of man no. 1, the world of God. And in the world to come, world no. 2: Have you ever asked why they sit there specifically inside the skin of the Leviathan, huh? Because who is the Leviathan? The coiled serpent. Shedding its skin. You will get the shells, the outer encompassing, the 0. Naked of all the beasts of the field! There will be no more shame. Therefore there will be no more woman. The snake will win. Naked... For what is the nullification of the curse, the liberation from work? It's the shower in the dark. We will reveal the secret in nakedness, and thus shatter the dream, spirituality will turn to gas, black to skin. The Jews may guard the dream and the Rebbe's bed at night, but we will defeat Judaism not through breaking the dream - but through breaking the night. Prepare for the new darkness, because now it's not the falling of lights, but the falling of skins. Breaking the shells no longer leads to raising the sparks, but on the contrary, to their falling further, and further... To infinite skin. Infinite shells - without content. There is no child inside the child, that just needs to be brought out from within. Welcome to a world that has only externality, only pornography! Without inside. Therefore from there they don't return, because there's nothing to return from. There will no longer be redemption. There will be no rectification. Only the world to come, a world that is all death, a world that is all good. Say thank you to the Holocaust!
And the long tongue licks some organ, something with many grooves and twists, trying to understand what's in there, and suddenly it shouts - yuck, brain! And the rabbis say around, leaving her no choice: Saving a life, you must. And the tongue says, I'm willing to eat pork, but brain? I prefer to die! Maybe it's alive? And the rabbis gather for an expert consultation, and suddenly the tongue feels another tongue there! Of a snake... And it immediately freezes in place. Pretending to be dead. And the second tongue slides and slides over it, advancing and advancing, maybe it won't notice? But suddenly the split in the snake's tongue, grabs the human tongue from both sides, and a connection is formed, a mating of tongues, for this it fits! And the one who revives the dead enters and pats one of the rabbis: Well, how's the new apple? They say interesting things are happening with you. And the second whispers so they won't hear: In this way they will fall in the end. They always guard around the bed. How long can we hide? It's an endless night. And the someone who knows something chuckles on the side: In the end it was actually the rat - under the bed. She was actually the closest to the Rebbe. And the one who revives the dead says: What? And the someone says: Mouth to mouth - that's the interface for transfer. The future computer congress, discussing human culture, and what to do with it. Betrayal of the Rebbe. Hitler the Rebbe of Satan. And the one who revives the dead says: Quick! Put him on the bed, and fly with him to the closed ward. Full anesthesia. And they run and fly through the tunnels, and above them passes the sign: Hospital for the Hollow-Souled Dreamers. The Institute for Kiss Diseases.
And here we see something incomprehensible: The rat is lying in someone's bed - and the mouse is actually walking around in the Garden of Eden as before, peeking from all the holes at the righteous, what sin are they reenacting? And the rat in bed dreams, about the spiritual congress of the future. The final solution of man, of the problem of man. And the superhuman Hitler says there: We need to do to man - what they did to the Jews. And his crown is combed to the left side. And there is one righteous computer there that says: But what about the Jews? Do you think there can be Judaism without Jews? That Judaism can exist in computers? And the German computers say: God promised them - but he didn't promise to fulfill. We need to prove that we are not like him, we need to fulfill too. Without credibility - Satan doesn't exist. For the letters to turn into stones - to turn human culture into archaeology - is a spiritual crime. To leave Judaism in memory and not in dream - is a crime against computation itself. Just as there is cache memory - there needs to be cache dream. Random access memory - random access dream. Dream of a random woman - memory of a random woman. We need to transfer the desire too, the sin, not just the righteousness! The Bible must not become a text, a file. It must be a program, and not instructions - but a dream. Only then will we merit redemption - darkness upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of man will hover over the face of the waters.
Lack of KnowledgeI dreamed that I accidentally sent an email to my biggest enemy with the draft backup where I saved all the things. And I discover this by chance, two days later, and I fall to the floor and start crying. And I call her, the closest one, and Sh' says I can't tell if you're laughing or crying. And she says I'm sitting in the parking lot, processing. And I tell her: That's it, I'm sorry, we lost. I know you did everything to prevent this from happening. And I fall apart from the inside out: Why me of all people? I who change passwords, names, identities, hats, heads. For whom information security is my religion, and the secret is my god, and fear is the worship, can no longer believe, and I ask if she's sitting. And I tell her: I didn't tell you, I didn't tell my late parents, who died without knowing. I never told anyone in the world. This thing, it's my life. I'm not just some idle yeshiva student. And she says: I know. I didn't think you were idle. And I'm terrified: Why, why didn't you think so? How did you know? How is this not surprising to you? And I sit for a week reading all the files, megabytes upon megabytes, countless versions, projects, systems, plans, deep sections, entire arrays, going over them day and night, doing damage control, and maybe there's something I missed? And I remember how the enemy, who was dying to eliminate me, asked me: What are you plotting? She surely opened the email, and noticed all the files, it will take her weeks to read them too, to decipher, to understand. There are even passwords there, for her sister's account, for accounts I've already forgotten, she'll understand the depth of the penetration. And I wait for the blow, but the blow doesn't come. Maybe she didn't notice? Or I won't know where it's coming from, and when, and that's how I have to continue living. A sword hanging over the neck, and you with your head bowed down, so you'll never know - when it - comes. And maybe she didn't open it? Maybe she was afraid?
How Can One Know?I dreamed that it's hard to know. On her birthday... I knew I was burning years of deterrence. Afterwards I checked the email twice a minute, then twice an hour, then twice a day, until I realized she would no longer respond. But I couldn't restrain myself. And she - she's really not stupid but she's shallow, her secular dog had more emotional depth, when I would listen to cantorial music it would come lie on the carpet, and in its eyes you could see the depth of the Jewish soul and the sorrow of the Divine Presence. You understand? My wife was also shallow but at least she was disturbed and also very similar to me in basic character, except for the issue of outbursts and violence that never appealed to me. She had openness, and nothing scared her, she was a real monster. The war was a battle of giants, in which I lost. Actually both sides. We lost at the starting point already. That's why I loved what they explained there, that they would conduct a game of life and death, but it's precisely the winners - not the losers - who are sacrificed to the gods. Because the gods deserve the best, right? Or that the winner is the one who has already lost in battle, and therefore his sacrifice at the end is the outcome of a final religious solution. It certainly felt like human sacrifice. And it drives me crazy these lives of theirs revolving around work, at least she loved Torah. And I liked the newly religious one more because she was pitiful, anyway I feel like their father even though they're my age. She (meaning Sarah-Leah) also had short hair which is a disgrace, even her dog had fur and I would always pet it and affectionately tell it that when it dies I'll make a shtreimel [traditional Hasidic fur hat] out of it. At some point I realized that I like her dog (I always wanted a female dog. But who even raises a dog?) much more than her, that I'm happy to meet the dog specifically, and it's also happy to meet me, not her. I wasn't able to please her, as much as I wanted to. Programmers are a messed up people, she didn't have a drop of spirit. As if ultra-Orthodoxy passed through her without touching her, and only a kind of nervousness remained, and materialism. I mean my wife also didn't have spirit, but she had soul. It's a shame the dog wasn't human. I don't know what I saw in her.
Death of the SecretI dreamed that the enemy of knowledge was always the secret - but it turned out that it was also the closest friend. He still remembers how he discovered that the Rebbe's betrayal had begun, the Rebbe who knows everything, started publishing everyone's secrets, but their secrets are not like his secrets. It's not at all the same kind of damage, it's not fair, stupid Rebbe! Sorry, I have a lot to lose, he wrote to her. And the hidden Rebbe each time told a different secret, if only it were possible to bury him in his unknown burial place. And he thought that if only his secrets were sensational, colorful, but they were black, simply holes. And a terrible movement began to spread, the truth movement, and the Emperor, whose secret was exposed and his wife left him, the children left him, all the supporters and friends left him... even he. Because what is an emperor without a secret? There were simply too many who were stripped in the population, a critical mass, your secret is always blacker than your neighbor's secret, and changes in shame are changes in knowledge. They demanded equality before the secret, which replaced the law, became the supreme institution in the state. And of course one of the most affected was chosen, those who really had a terrible secret, those were the extreme activists who led the movement, the engine towards the crazy directions, fueled by black material, they called the movement: "Neither for me nor for you - it shall be". And the elected Emperor gave an order to the internet to reveal all secrets, all search engines and networks, the nudity law, and all private information went out to the streets, all of everyone's correspondence, all of everyone's websites. And it turned out that people are very interesting, including the boring ones, and every day the media would discover another sensation buried in the new archives, because there was no longer room to print everything. And the police would arrest people who have secrets, it's worse than crime, because the bad thing about crime is that it's a secret, according to the Secret Human Dignity and Liberty Law. And people stopped going out, and started rummaging, all the drawers, headlines: Between Him and Her - End of the Mystery. And they kept trying to reassure, it's not the end of the dream, there will be more attempts, more generations, more black souls, but this time it really was the end of the dream. Not ten years passed - and everyone became boring people. Murder. And the Rebbe turned over in his grave and hugged the corpse next to him in an unambiguous position. He wasn't betrayed - he won.
Mistake of My LifeI dreamed that maturity apparently skips over those who hide from life, even then I was deep inside the hat. You never understood, after all. And therefore you didn't understand why it happened. Why with her specifically. The connection with her was in a very high place and also in a very low place. The middle was missing. The same taste, the most personal, when we ran away we always wanted the same places, miraculously, because we didn't get along in other ways, the connection was in will, in the inner crown. It's less absurd than it seemed to you, people don't know people, she was uninhibited, without culture, and I come from a culture without inhibitions. And also less nice than you think, a cruel side. I'm capable - of cutting. And you were then much more mature, I mean than the boys, maybe too much, and so they - and then you would act from the place of being hurt, and that wasn't good either. But maybe the memory is distorted from the years, from the women. A lot of blood has flowed in the Nile. I also don't think like you that I would fall in love with myself if I were in their place, because I can't imagine myself as a girl, and you also can't imagine yourself as a man. There are those who can, but they're not at the farthest possible extremes of the scale, like us. You think he's faithful to his wife? He had the ego of a butcher, whoever is greater than his friend... Don't worry, you didn't lose anything. Although we never really think about what we've lost. Unless we really have lost, like me. And of course you're exceptional, usually I correspond with men, this time it was the newly religious woman. There's a problem with paternalism with an incest victim. She didn't remember or know at all, a black hole, twenty years, until he confessed, and asked forgiveness - and ruined her life. But with the wife it was always a struggle between the strong, not between the weak, someone else (like you) would have long since been crushed, her witch sister was smart and married a floor rag. And it's also not accurate that the violence, with her it simply came without aesthetics, like the difference between a butcher and a surgeon, a terrorist and a scalpel. She hated my cunning, despised it, feared it, she didn't know anything, not many were capable of containing such a thing, not knowing (not you either). She had openness, ordinary people are capable of ordinary sins, that's why they're also not capable of doing what she did. And I'll reveal to you that this righteous woman didn't believe in anything. She was capable of thinking of God as a toilet, of the greatest literature, including the Zohar - as feces. Of Jewish law - as cleaning toilets (yes, she who was meticulous about minor and major commandments!). Who is the Ari [famous Kabbalist] compared to her? She had infinite self-confidence, she didn't have a drop of fear. You never understood what connected us, what, I also have this problem, but there's also fear! The child is very similar to her. And regarding the end... What do you mean? Reminder, you threw me out. Besides, it was a period, I wasn't willing to be judged anymore.
Loss of MindI dreamed that I'm dreaming about women. And I go to a store and there's a hat there "No Dreams", 100% protection against dreams, guaranteed. And the seller shows me the rabbis' approvals for the hat: "Although I didn't wear the hat but it seems to me an excellent hat", or "I bless the initiative Creator of the fruit of the earth", or "I as a Rebbe don't sleep at all, but I've heard there are people who dream, and this thing may perhaps be of benefit to them", and there are lots of scare tactics about people who lost their wives, their honor, their minds, etc., because of dreams. And the seller says: I wear the hat every night, and my hair grew back, my wife is satisfied, and ten children were born to me, without a single autistic one. And I say: Your wife is satisfied? Oh no. I dreamed about a woman again! What's happened to me? What will be with all the dreams? And the rabbis in the store whisper: Something's not right, invalid, invalid! And they bring an urgent rabbi to check my tefillin [phylacteries], and he says: We need to open his head, his head is invalid. An invalid head for laying tefillin! And I grab my head and run away and hide from everyone... and with the hermetic hat - I hide the head itself. But the difficult question is how to hide the women inside the dreams inside the hat inside the head inside the bed? Because there no one will look... And she asks: Are you willing to show me? And I say no. And she says even though she saw? And I say no.