Divorce

My Sister-in-Law

I dreamed I was a butterfly, and I no longer know if I'm a butterfly dreaming it's a Hasidic Jew or a Hasidic Jew dreaming he's a butterfly, but one thing I know that I don't know: how to fly. And I crash trying to beat the sky, right hand smack, left hand harder you dive think you're trying to hurt God and hit the sky, and I can't lift off the floor, even though I jumped from the bed, but my wife tells me outside the house now - fly away. And I understand that being a butterfly isn't just flying among flowers in the Garden of Eden, and I take my wings to the place where angels have atrophied. A place where there are angels who have become like penguins, unable to fly. And they are very afraid that this part of the sky will fall to the ground. Especially since so many are standing on it now, after so many parts have already fallen. And when a tired old angel arrives who has no strength left, they chase him away saying there's no room, and he begs, he can't take it anymore, but they shoot in the air, and he retreats, and often he never finds rest for his feet, until his strength is exhausted, and he plummets, plummets... And here my wife's sister calls, and suddenly announces that she's getting divorced, and I don't understand why, but I smile, and she smiles too. And my wife says she's lucky she doesn't have children yet. And I know who she's thinking about. But to my complete surprise, I really do fold up inside my wings and die, even though I didn't dare try to fly from the window - who remembered that a butterfly lives only one day? - and ascend to heaven. And I discover that all the trees and branches have turned into tables and books, and all the flowers - into buttons.

The First Two Parshiyot [Torah portions]

I dreamed they tell me on the secret radio that there's a match. And I tell her: A wedding without you knowing my name. And we live like that, all good and fine. Then one day I catch her rummaging through my wallet. My name isn't there, and she cries regretfully. And again I enter the room and catch her rummaging in the drawer. And she cries. And I don't believe her anymore, and move to compartmentalization within compartmentalization within compartmentalization. And she doesn't stop crying, and sometimes I almost really want to reveal to her, only the very thought causes me shuddering nausea. And I tell her at night: Religious technology is what distinguishes man from Neanderthal, and various religious technologies that you have already forgotten, are what enabled the development of culture, and caused all development: the urban revolution, the agricultural revolution, the writing revolution, the language revolution, art. The human species. Everything in Genesis Noah. And only a new religious technology will enable the transition from man to the next thing. And she says to me: Women are not allowed to know such a thing. What are we bringing children for. You're not allowed to talk like that. Humans are not allowed to know this. And I tell her: That's right. And she asks me: Are you an animal?

You'll Come Back to Me on All Fours

I dreamed my wife kicks me out of the house and I have nowhere to go. And I try to think what, really I don't have one place I can go to? And I have nowhere to go. And I meet this stray dog and say let's see where the dog goes. Maybe the dog is going to the Temple? But the dog runs and I have no strength. And I return home and beg to be let in. And suddenly the dog opens the door for me. And I see he's wearing my clothes and they're so big on him I only see the tail peeking out of the pants. And my wife shouts from behind who is it at this hour, and he says just some stray dog knocking at the door and gives me a kick and slams it. And I return to the street, and sniff in the garbage, and pee on the wall: this is mine.

And I start to think what are my options as a dog. To enter the Temple Mount. A huge mountain in the shape of a house. And I don't even knock on the door I enter through the crack underneath it, what a scale. And I see the kitchen all kinds of strange utensils like a chemistry lab, experiments on humans, hard to see from below, the cabinets are cliffs and a mighty waterfall from the faucet. And the angels are making in the "kitchen" all kinds of new people, seasoned, recipes, people born with the entire Talmud memorized in their head - and die with their entire head memorized in the Talmud, women with instincts of holy beasts, a great tzaddik [righteous man] who is a small cat and therefore curled up in a circle and fell asleep inside the hat, a hat with eggs whose mother abandoned them, because they're black, and who knows what will hatch, and hats that swallow people, someone puts their head in, feeding time has arrived, and suddenly you only see the hat, and a burp comes out of it, an army of such hats, instead of berets, and even a hat for the Prime Minister, and I must warn the Prime Minister and send him a letter, your bare head is a target for a hat, beware of hats falling from the sky. And I run quickly quickly to the most interesting room, the bedroom. But it takes me days, it only looks close, but as you progress you only understand the scale of things, one tile. And I see God and his wife, like two whales, or sea serpents, that is, actually you only see their wings (or fins?) drooping from below outside the bed, but they must be huge, and the terrible glasses of the angels, to avoid looking at God and going blind, like inverted telescopes on their eyes, whose end doesn't terminate in a lens, but is sharp. And that's why they keep falling, and wounding each other, and the kitchen is full of blood - but the blood is white. Are their hearts full of milk from the sin of the [golden] calf? Or maybe it's liquid paper, books in a different state of matter? And I say I'm not interested in seeing God, but who is the woman, could it be someone else? Is she beautiful, is she ugly? What's his taste in girls. And suddenly I see a tail coming out from outside the bed. And I say wow there's room for progress, man is not the only option, there are dog angels, there is a God for dogs, there is a Torah for dogs, and I was simply born into the wrong religion and now I see the light. And suddenly God's wife wakes up, and I look and see - what kind of - - and I go blind.

Attempt at Reconciliation

I dreamed that my wife and I are getting married again. And everyone says what luck! It's about time they got married after having ten children. But what children are they talking about. How can this be? And it turns out that all the previous children died but now she's pregnant again, is it any wonder they have to get married? And I don't understand how all the children died without me remembering that they died, how they died. And I remember that the first child died by turning into blood, it was a month after he was born, and I wasn't there, my wife only told me after he died in the hospital, as always, typical of her, that's why I don't remember he died. And the second jumped and disappeared like a frog in the grass and we didn't find him. And the third was small like a louse and by mistake we scratched our head. And the fourth was devoured by a swarm. And so on. And only one thing I don't understand is how we're getting married again before we got divorced. And everyone says it's just to get gifts again. And they say that the tenth child she has in her belly is excellent and very wonderful, better than the child who died in darkness. And I don't understand how they know, but it's just something people know, the last will be first, the child is very good. That's how it is with firstborns.

Family Sacrifice

I dreamed that in the Messianic era God decides that everything has worked out and he can already retire, and gives one angel authority without responsibility, and this angel starts going wild. And he starts making new spiritual and progressive regulations, for example that on Shabbat there's no gravity and Jews start flying in the air, and you need to hold onto a tree or something, otherwise the fall at the end of Shabbat will be painful, and all the dishes on the Shabbat table start flying in the air and all our future children are going wild and chasing after the matzah balls all over the room and I can't catch them, and suddenly my shtreimel [fur hat] gets hit and flies out the window. And I lose it, screaming: Who did that? I'll hang him on the spot! And the oldest son laughs and takes a rope and shows how his head flies through it, and all the children laugh and take ropes and tie their necks to the ceiling, at least this way they don't fly, and my wife ties me and the little ones like that too, and finally herself, and everyone's laughing, and you can't even see a black dot of the shtreimel in the sky anymore, and I don't know what to do except cry out to God. And then suddenly the angel decides that he's received many complaints from righteous people that he ruined their Shabbat table, and announces that after a public outcry he decides without delay to return gravity to its place.

The Last Man

I dreamed that I have no more continuation. And I have no more wife. And I am - the last man in the world. But to my surprise, what's written in the prophets actually comes true that in the end of days gender relations will be reversed - and therefore women will chase after men instead of the opposite: "A woman will court a man". And there's a ten-year queue for the harem. King of the world. And here come together to my bed three naked beauties, terrorists, and castrate me at night, and I tell them are you crazy, and they say: Everyone deserves the same thing - equality! And they take it with them, and the scientist in charge of the project closes the door behind them. And she promises: In the next generation normal life, children. And all people are brothers.

Liberty, Equality and Fraternity

I dreamed that against all odds a daughter is born to me, or the son turns into a daughter, and against all odds she's okay and against all odds a son is also born to me. And then my son and daughter come and tell me they want to get married, so we'll have continuity. That I should find them a halachic [Jewish law] permit. And I say what, is your mother a shiksa [non-Jewish woman]? And they convert, love conquers halacha, and in accordance with all odds a pig is born to them.

Run Away

I dreamed that I get into a taxi and I have no money. And I tell the driver: Run away from me. And my wife takes me to the trunk and threatens: You'll want to forget the day we met. I answer: Today I don't want to forget. And I understand that my wife informed on me to the authorities. And all this time she's been pretending. And even in my own house, in my own bed, I can't be sure for five minutes. And I can't write anymore, because my wife wakes me up every morning with screams and I forget the continuation of the dream.

Wait Until They Leave

I dreamed that my wife murders me and puts me in the closet, and she creates a kind of scarecrow that's me and puts a book in its hand with its face to the wall and it studies Torah all day, and everyone who asks she tells them peek through the window my husband is such a righteous saint, doesn't eat doesn't use the bathroom doesn't move for a moment just studies studies day and night. And it becomes a great wonder, people say we didn't know him, we didn't know who walked among us, there's a line to peek through the hole, and the righteous man is immersed in study, no matter how much they provoke him, and she lets flies into the room, countless, dots: all black. The field. The cross. The child. The bird. And my wife suddenly shouts they're downstairs they asked you to come help. I heard. I don't think you heard. Just a moment. Not just a moment! Well, a minute I'm coming down. I see how you're coming down. One second. I know your second. I would have finished already. Nnnooowww.

An Act of Ugliness

I dreamed that my wife is the ugliest woman in the world, all the women on the street are more beautiful than her, and suddenly she meets the most beautiful woman in the world. And the beautiful one doesn't know whether to vomit or laugh, so she's polite, does what always works, and smiles, but that's a terrible mistake, because my wife also feels the need to smile, and she opens her crooked mouth that reaches up to her eye, and a crooked tooth comes out that enters her original nose, bursting pimples, and the perfect teeth opposite can no longer withstand the breach, something is about to come out of there, something inside the teeth, even the slightest chuckle can now boil God, not to mention something else, some venom, a snake's tongue, apple, the original fruit, something she almost said. And from so much tension in the aesthetic function of the sexuality of the world, at this singular point, something goes wrong, some angel mistakenly inserts a multiplier in minus one, or just divides by zero when they touch for a second, maybe a bug, maybe Satan flipped some integral. Inverted. And beauty contests for monsters begin, perfect lack of proportions, especially creative plastic surgeries, like modern art in humans, but everyone agrees there's nothing like natural ugliness. And etrogs [citrons] with horrific mutations, this is my God and I will glorify Him, enhancing mitzvot [commandments] for monsters, grace is deceitful and beauty is vain. It's not easy at all to be ugly, especially if you were born beautiful, working many hours to be disheveled, and guys are willing to marry young girls only in the hope that they'll one day be old and wrinkled, and won't leave them, like old wine. And my wife becomes the most beautiful in the world, all the guys are dying of jealousy, women ask her what's the secret, and she lays out her doctrine, my perfect beauty treatment is my husband, every time I don't feel old enough, I look at him, magazines: The secret formula: marry a dirty black stain, and in the end she leaves me for a handsome world-class ultra-Orthodox rabbi who's better than me in every way. But I'm already very popular among the girls, and have no trouble finding someone almost as ugly as her.

To the Special One

I dreamed that I'm no longer willing to use her name, and call her the monster. On Purim she wanted to dress up as an elephant but there was no costume in her size. Since what happened she hasn't stopped eating even in her sleep. And they tell me it will come back to haunt me, but it's more important to me to call her the monster. And I'm not interested in the secular people either, because I have the very rare option, for the first time in my life - to stop living. We don't have to choose life. And I raise my hands to the sky. And Blessed is He Who Spoke [God] tells me: You need to have mercy on her. The deep part of learning is knowing how to fail. And she doesn't know how to fail. And I say: The first time there I thought she was sick. Just sick. And the grandmother in heaven cries that she took down from all the walls the pictures of her grandson, what a terrible grandmother she is, her grandson, because she couldn't bear to look at him. And in the end I tell Blessed is He Who Spoke: The child, the genius, he's probably not okay. And he says: Oh. And the next day he says: You must come see a prayer of Amalekites [biblical enemies of the Jews]. The root of heresy is that the world is uninteresting, simple, symmetrical, space, and then how can there be God, life, Torah, mathematics in it. It's a wonder. After all, a dream is such an asymmetrical thing. Why specifically this people this planet this Torah this sentence and not another, why a red heifer, and not green? And the root of faith is that the world is interesting, God is complex, He is the most interesting God who chose the most interesting people, that there are real secrets. And heresy: How can it be at all that interesting things exist? How is it even possible? It's not logical - to them. So know this: What's not interesting doesn't exist. That's the reason Satan is the angel of death, of erasure, of nothing, emptiness - the empty space is the other side. The interesting is the rule in nature, not the exception. And why? Because the whole world is a learning process. And God's Torah study cannot be boring. I've never heard of someone who was bored in their own dream. The dream is always - special. And the union of man and woman is always special. And Israel is special and God is special, and this is the meaning of the name One and His name One. Not as a number, but that there is no other like Him, and there will not be after Him, He is the first and last of His kind. He is special.

Shabbat Zachor [Sabbath of Remembrance]

I dreamed that I'm in a synagogue of Amalekites. And they wear huge shtreimels and sidelocks to hide their ears. And when a child is born they secretly take him to a special mohel [circumciser] who rounds the triangle. And here I see Blessed is He Who Spoke praying there! And he shushes me: The sin of Amalek is - "and he cut off", fought with the tail, "those lagging behind you", from the word snake. Not like nowadays when they turn the tail into the head. And therefore we need not only to erase him, but to erase the erasure, a secret within a secret, to erase not only him but also his memory. But what is the erasure of Amalek? Erasure, it's life within death. There's still life inside, because he's mentioned in the Torah, under the heavens you shall not forget. Because there's also above that - to erase the erasure of the erasure, a secret within a secret within a secret. Not you shall not forget. Forget, forget everything. Because there was also another people, who erased even the memory of the erasure of their memory. Who was erased even from the Torah. There was an animal before the snake. There was something after the tail. Thinner. A thread. That connected. Until here.

Whitening of Faces

I dreamed that I said something about someone, something terrible, I discovered, and now everyone knows. And my heart is troubled, but I'm not willing to go to him to ask forgiveness. And leprosy starts appearing in my house, but I don't tell the priest, and the house is destroyed. And leprosy appears on my clothes, and I swear to the priest that I truly have no idea why. And leprosy starts appearing on my skin, and I don't reveal it to the priest, I'm not willing to tell that I spoke. And they send me from priest to priest, running between priests all day, this one will heal you, no, I heard that one can heal you. And there sits some leper in the final stage of the disease, and he says it's better to have white faces - than to enter the fiery furnace. And he whispers to me that there's some priest that no one goes to, because he himself is a leper - and he'll be able to heal you. And I think why don't people go to him, because if he knew how to heal he would heal himself. But that's not true, because a person doesn't see his own afflictions. And I go to the leprous priest and he leans towards me with sores dripping pus, and says: Do you know why I'm sick? I'm not willing to reveal. And I suddenly understand that they think the goal is how to be healed - but the real goal is not to reveal! And I shudder all over and recoil backwards with tremendous force, fall onto the chair, and the chair hits the door and it opens and I roll down the stairs, flying backwards, and start walking on the street with my face backwards, and think that now maybe I won't be able to see where I'm going, but at least I'll be able to see who's following me. And my face is already completely white, dripping from so much white, and I understand now that it's not for nothing that the angels are white - they're lepers, because they reveal. Because the goal is to become whiter and whiter. And the higher they are the more they reveal, and their leprosy is already beyond white, new forms of white, bright, radiant, shining on the forehead, and accordingly the highest must be a leprous God who is whiter than white, infinite light. But here up above I see that there is - a furnace.

And my neck already hurts from looking up, the black hat that goes in front and has become my face almost falls to the floor. And these black faces look down, and say that just as the goal there in the upper world is to become whiter, our goal is to become blacker and blacker. But just as creation develops more and more downwards - so too upwards, and therefore it's called a tree: just as the roots constantly branch out and search into the earth, in development into the depths of black, so too above the branches search into the depths of light. Constantly developing. And only in the middle is there the dry trunk, which is the tzaddik [righteous person], and therefore he is boring. He connects between them. He brings down the white from above, and raises up the black from below, and therefore he is gray. If their goal is to reveal, our goal is not to reveal. And the goal of the tzaddik is not to reveal that they reveal.

And I ask - but why do they need the blacks up above at all? And the tzaddik says: The fire! And I shout: What? And the tzaddik says: Why are you shouting, life is combustion. And I'm not willing - no! And the tzaddik says: Up there are the branches, the leaves, the fruits, additional universes. And two birds fly out from the tree: to one side flies a bird of water, and to the other side a bird of blood. To reveal - the affliction, to tell - the hair. A leper [metzora] is bringing out evil [motzi ra], and what's the opposite, what's below? The opposite of evil [ra] is not good, but awake [er]. Bringing in awake. Ugly [mechoar]. And he's so choppy that I can't understand - what, is someone cutting down the tree? And I think to myself, actually, why do I need all the dreams and wars with all the whites, when all I need to do to turn the whole world black is to close my eyes.

And it was turned and turned and turned and turned and turned - it

I dreamed that my wife is calling everyone she knows and telling them I'm garbage. And one of these people, she doesn't even know, is darkness. And she puts me in a bag, goes down the stairs with me, and throws me into a frog. And there's darkness there, but I'm not alone. There's life in the darkness. There's a cat the size of a mouse and a mouse the size of a cat, and they don't know who will eat whom. And they tell me from above that they won't talk to me because I'm in the place of filth, but there are angels who are themselves dirt, recycled, or more precisely old angels that were thrown away, that are garbage, and they'll take care of me. Because there's a world of garbage, which has spiritual garbage from all the worlds, because instead of fixing and cleaning it's cheapest to throw away and transfer there, and there are remnants there from worlds that long ago went to the trash. And even there, there's a Satan and demons, who rummage through documents in the garbage and discover all kinds of things that should have been destroyed. The secret Torah of garbage. A Bible that went to the trash, Torahs of ruined worlds, and characters that were thrown away, like Adam and Eve's daughter, or Moses' son and Pharaoh's son, or the serpent, which is a branch that didn't die from that tree. And their sin in the Garden of Eden was a sin with inanimate objects, like our sin is with plants, because they are one stage back. They were in a garden of books, and one angel tempted to read from the forbidden book, and then they cut off his wings, and with one leg he became a serpent, one direction. Because once there wasn't just one past, but four pasts. And afterwards in creation there was only east, and from all three directions you could reach a new world, three directions of possible future - which are three possible end directions of the world. But today since the secular people turned the world round all directions meet at some completely opposite point on the other side of the world, and only the center is the present, and the direction to the future is upwards, into the black. Dreams are the garbage of the day, the garbage of the spirit, libraries that grow by themselves, which are trees, books that are trees, closets that grow by themselves and more and more drawers appear in drawers, doors in doors, that you don't manage to go to the end of the corridor and already another door appears there, and another room, and more rooms within rooms, ultra-Orthodox within ultra-Orthodox, that an ultra-Orthodox person is even afraid of himself, black within black, that even pockets have pockets - of their own. That in a tree you see all their history laid out before you, all the directions they tried and didn't try and the branches that reached dead ends and those that produced fruits, because their fruits are books. That not only do they make a book from the tree, but there's also the opposite, that they make a tree from the book, and when one world ends and another begins - they also make a tree from a person. And the two trees of our Torah, they are the two Messiahs of the previous Torah, this is what happens in the end, with Messianism, and the Tree of Life and Tree of Knowledge are a couple, man and woman. Because the Tree of Life and Tree of Knowledge - which knowledge was separated in the Torah from life - they were the Adam and Eve of the previous world, who in the end became its two Messiahs, the male Messiah and female Messiah, Messiah son of Joseph (the foundation) and Messiah son of David (the kingdom). And therefore Adam was supposed to eat from the Tree of Life, and only his wife was supposed to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, and his wife tempted him. But the animal that was supposed to tempt him to life, the counterpart of the serpent, didn't act to tempt the man, some instinct was missing. And only knowledge remained, only good and evil. And it's clear to me that they're telling me this not in order to know - what was in the past, but for life - in the future, in order to learn what happens when passing from world to world through time, instead of through place, because place is God but each new learning time is a world. In order to reach the end of this world we need to learn the end of the previous world, and the mistake was that they always learned the beginning of this world, and tried to reach and go back more and more towards the beginning, against the direction of time and learning, to the act of creation, instead of starting from the end of the previous one, and trying to progress in it and reach the edge of its end, with the direction of the previous time and learning, to the act of the end times (and perhaps, from there, also to reach the act of creation that comes after it). And how do we progress to the end? The coupling between the two trees, knowledge that is life, it's not a dead book, it's a living book, the connection of knowledge and life is learning, because nowadays knowledge is dead and the book is inanimate, while life develops without knowledge, from within life, and in the future to come they will be one thing. That we need to ascend from plant to animal, because the trees are stuck not moving, and therefore we need a bird that will fly and graft between the two trees, in order to couple them. And trees have a way to pass messages and warnings to each other through the roots, and that's how messages started to arrive that there's the cutter, and they can't escape just pass the message on and on, that the cutter is coming. And the cutter easily reached knowledge, which is revealed in the center of the garden, and threatened it that if it doesn't say where life is, which is hidden far away among the trees inside the forest, then he'll cut it down. And it didn't betray its beloved husband - whom it had never seen - and he struck with the axe and it didn't say, and didn't say, until he cut it down, and started to search for the Tree of Life, to cut down all the trees in the garden. And they had - they were the Adam and Eve of that world - two children, a son and daughter, and they told them that they're forbidden to marry each other, that they need to separate and go search for spouses far away in the forest, but the brother and sister married each other. And every time a child was born to them the mother would immediately look to find the defect in it, one had a tail instead of a leg, another had a tail instead of a nose, with the third she panicked that they couldn't see what the defect was, but when he started to speak they saw that he had a tail instead of a tongue, and here with the fourth they didn't see anything, and this is what scared her the most, because who knows where the defect is if it's not something external, and one day this child went into the forest and disappeared. And suddenly they show me in the dream some impressive black tree that above the treetop - wears a shtreimel. And afterwards they show it to me riding on a white donkey, its roots entering into the donkey and it grasping it into the flesh and blood and the donkey screaming, writhing in pain, but unable to free itself from the tree riding it. And the tree grabs my head with a branch: We need to prepare the Tree of Knowledge that we'll pass to the next world, after the world of life, and the tree that will replace the Tree of Life, when there will be artificial Torah learning, and artificial knowledge and life, and the body will die, the human race will die. Therefore we need continuity of the soul in the trunk that will replace us at the end of the world, to pass the torch to the beginning of the next world, and Jewish culture which is the leader in the world in cultural continuity needs to prepare the culture of the next world, the books that will survive, because even if materially they'll start from scratch, there must not be a cultural holocaust, a religious holocaust, we need to prepare the serpent that will tempt at the beginning of the next creation the creatures that will be there to eat our fruit, even though it's forbidden to them. It's not enough to survive the test of generations, we need to survive the test of the end of generations: when what will be here will no longer be human, and we'll be a tree for it. It's not enough to care about the Messiah and redemption, we need to care about what will be after the redemption. For the next sin. It's not simple, sin, in order for there to be sin an enormous infrastructure is needed, we need to care for the next Torah, the next instinct, the next Garden of Eden, we need to understand that we'll be stuck in place, like a tree in the ground, and only someone else will progress in time. We need to care for garbage, that's what will remain after us. Not heaven forbid to clean it, but that it should be worth more than gold. That our spiritual garbage should be Torah. In the Holocaust the Torah of Genesis was destroyed, and thus this world was also supposed to be destroyed, but somehow something went wrong, something went wrong in the destruction.

And I think: Why do I want her at all if I only get garbage from her? And I come out of the frog and go up home and sit on the bed and go into the computer and close the lid.

The Tale of the Lost Princess

I dreamed that I would already prefer if she had cheated. And each time I discover how much further back it went. And further back. Suddenly it explains all the behaviors, the sharp changes, the unexplained ones. Already preferable infidelity with a man, than with a rabbi. The period when they tried to push me to the extreme with all their might, to get something out of me that would finish me off, to set a trap for me, they hoped to bring me to the edge (they tried to provoke violence from me), and then when that didn't succeed, how they quietly gathered like ants everything that could be against me and every piece of dirt, went to all my remaining relatives and friends and tried to draw them out with their tongue, to extract and bring out black pearls without their knowledge, and then the period of false honey and anesthesia - the last honeymoon, and to wake up in the morning - to discover that they seized me, emptied everything, I can't even buy food, and certainly not cope, and my own money is going to finance everything against me, and against the child, that is, for the "good of the child". They must feel so clever, what a deception. Camouflage, outflanking, maneuvering, military operation. The sons of Zeruiah are too hard for me. And I try to remember what I even thought once, in the beginning. I loved the white skin, so pale, from lack of exposure to the sun. I believed in fairy tales about a princess.

-End of my wife-

I dreamed that I'm no longer interested in you, the worst punishment you can give someone is to not be interested in them. To no longer be interested in a particular rabbi or Rebbe. Because love is to be deeply interested in someone, interesting, why was Absalom's son Shalom erased from the Bible, for reasons known to God, and the demons say these are black things that the screen cannot bear. Because, as is known, in God's world: a year is a thousand, a day is a thousand. And what is the Sabbatical year? The produce of the sixth year (the sixth millennium) needs to suffice for the next three (thousand) years. He who labored on the eve of the Sabbath will eat on the Sabbath (the seventh millennium). He who wrote on the eve of the Sabbath will read on the Sabbath, and he who didn't care for material for the soul will die of boredom, because on the Sabbath it's forbidden to write. And these are the judgments which you shall set before them: for six thousand years we are servants of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and in the seventh millennium we will go out free. Because the world of man is 6000 years, created on the sixth day. Therefore this is how one should read the secret of reincarnation: If his master-6 gives to-6 a wife and she bears to-6 sons or daughters, the wife and her children-5 shall belong to her master-5 and he shall go out by himself. And now one must decide whether to give up on the wife and children, and go out in body, or: And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master (God) my wife and my children; I will not go out free: Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him for ever.

The Sages at Night

I dreamed that they call me for registered mail. And I say what could possibly be in registered mail, only bad, and I don't go and forget about it. And one day I discover that they're after me, right on the street, and they did everything behind my back without me, and I don't even want to look who it is, because I don't want to see their faces, because they'll see that I'm looking, and they'll have proof that I know there's something to look at, that I understand the new thing, that pulls instead of women, and from here the way is already short. And the package goes everywhere and tries to pounce on me, what's in there, I really want to know, but I know it's not in my best interest to know. And I decide to leave the world. Because if I leave no one in the world will be able to do anything to me. And I run away to the hospital, because there they'll never look for me and you can live there for years, it's open 24 hours, there are showers, there are meals, there are endless places, only what - there are diseases there. And meanwhile they search in cemeteries, in synagogues, turn over books, rampage in bedrooms, press all kinds of buttons that might do something, where did he disappear to, they must give me this, where, the dog. And in the hospital I look for a really strange disease, a disease that doctors can't find any patient willing to be infected with, because doctors have many diseases and not enough patients willing to get sick, but with this disease no one is willing to touch, and this will be my advantage with the doctors that I'm willing to get sick with what no one, and this disease will take me out alive from the world, without passing through the cemetery where they're waiting for me because they think everyone ends up there. And meanwhile the package wanders the streets and recruits public opinion against me, what does he have to hide, since when do people receive packages, we've never received packages in our lives, gets all the rabbis to sign, complains all the time, but no one dares to open it and see what's really inside. Supposedly because it's meant for me - but I don't believe it. And all the secretaries already know this poor patient who wanders around all day in all the departments and no one knows what he has. And I read in the fine print of the disease I signed that there are two openings to exit the world, the opening of death, and many don't know, but there's also the opening of birth, from which you can also exit, just as you enter. And I am born again. At first I look for a father and mother. And since I already understand that higher lineage is preferable as much as possible, I choose the moon as father and the sun as mother, interesting what will come out of them. And I wait for there to be an eclipse, and the moon hides the sun and does to her what it does, and no one in the world knows but now she's pregnant, and the sun starts to grow, and at first people on Earth say turn on the air conditioner, but then it's already clear that human civilization will be wiped out and people flee to the poles because only there is there still life, and there are the people of the North and people of the South and connections are severed, and they move to live underground buying time, packing up the whole yeshiva, transferring everything, we're black we're not afraid of heat, and most of the students are already dead, only at night do they come out, and there's light like day, and it's very dangerous if you go far, those who were outside at sunrise evaporate, only a smoking hat remains, atop a pile of ash, and throughout the study hall books burst into flames on their own and those remaining continue and study, and the rabbi preaches inside the fire Jews love to sweat, Jews shower in their own sweat, the achievement of the Jews will be that we'll die last, and indeed many of the gentiles are already committing suicide and there remain a few blacks and a few ultra-Orthodox who can endure the oven, but even the blackest person doesn't reach the artificial black of an ultra-Orthodox, it's more than skin, the rabbi gets excited, the books are already completely black, all the pages, the gentile may be black on the outside but we are black on the inside, and here comes the day of the astrologers (the astronomers perished long ago), the sages of the heavens, the day the sun is supposed to explode and everyone is already saying confession, but instead, the sages of the sun are amazed, instead a river of blood comes out of it, a trail of blood, and they start shouting doctor doctor, there's still a chance, that we won't die, and the rabbi searches in the back of the study hall, if there's no doctor at least we'll find a sick person, maybe he understands something, and they rummage through things, shouting she's screaming she's giving birth, and there's also the package, and they open it - and I'm found inside.