Fertility

The End of Sex

I dreamed that I was studying Talmud and I desperately needed to use the bathroom, but the topic was so gripping that I couldn't stop, couldn't hold it in, couldn't disconnect, and I went into the bathroom with the Talmud despite it being forbidden to even contemplate words of Torah in the bathroom. And I think that the very thought in the place of impurity about the law that forbids contemplating words of Torah in the place of impurity is itself a contemplation of words of Torah in the place of impurity and therefore - one must not dedicate further unnecessary thoughts to it. And so I sway and study on the toilet and I flushed the water and couldn't find my black kippah anywhere. It can't be, it simply vanished under the ground. There's no logic to it. And I returned to the Talmud, and I understood that there was some terrible hint hidden in the topic, a new world was revealed to me within the Talmud - of rulings from hell, Torah from the depths of Sheol. Rabbis who arrived in hell. Entire yeshivas. And they ruled that Satan laughs at God: You say your Holocaust was cruel? It was merciful, just give me a chance and I'll make you a truly cruel Holocaust, a creative Holocaust. Your Holocaust is outdated, it belongs to the industrial age, I'll make you a Holocaust of the information age, an advanced Holocaust. And he gets a fair chance. And he goes down and declares: The previous Holocaust was just bloodshed, my Holocaust will be both sexual immorality and idolatry. With me it will be fun, with me there will be a voluntary Holocaust! And he turns all the women into statues, and the men take them out naked to the street and begin to bow down and worship them. And there are no more children.

The Sting

I dreamed that here it comes. And I tell her: It's not a pregnancy. Your belly is Pinocchio's nose. Every time I lie it grows. I never thought I'd find you here. Right here. Inside the whale. This is the ultimate revenge of the ark on Jonah. You thought that after the flood. It's forbidden to be drunk. It's forbidden to be naked. It's forbidden to be caught with your pants down. The Arabs are jealous. They hide their Arabness, but we know what they have at home. The ultra-Orthodox hide their sexual immorality, but don't know what they have at home. So you think you can keep hiding it? It's forbidden for a woman to wear pants. It's forbidden for animals to dress. It's forbidden to talk to animals. It's forbidden for animals to talk. It's forbidden for plants to eat animals. It's against God. It's against mosquitoes. It's not red. It doesn't stop inflating. It's not a pregnancy. And here it comes.

The Sleep of the Wicked is Pleasant for Them and Pleasant for the World

I dreamed that there is no rest for the wicked. And I hear about a special renowned expert, who visits barren women, with a practicum in domestic harmony, including studies in husbands' work, including treatment of animals, including fish, and even including cancer treatment. And I go secretly behind my wife's back to this expert marriage counselor according to the hidden doctrine, who has secretly saved countless marriages, and I ask: At least let there be a child! And the hidden righteous one says: You know what the problem is, that today everything is a lie. Today they call it fertility, and once they used to call it barrenness. So read Genesis. Only when Jacob quarreled with Rachel - were children born. Before that they were childless. But with Leah he quarreled from the start, and therefore they had much natural multiplication. Only when Abraham and Sarah lied and quarreled - was the union fruitful: be fruitful and multiply. As long as he listened to her voice and she gave him Hagar - the union was barren. Only when Rebecca left her mother's tent, and went behind her back to ask Shem... her belly filled. Perfect, romantic love is barren. If there's no snake in the relationship - knowledge is lacking, which is the connection of father to mother, and deep connection comes from friction. Multiplication [in Hebrew: "reviyah"] comes from the word quarrel ["riv"], and that's why children quarrel all the time.
- But honorable Rabbi, out of stormy love, this commandment we actually fulfill with great devotion! Although we desperately want a child, and from trying so much - even at the expense of dreams - we've even gotten very close, so that a period of blossoming in love is a period of drought in dreaming... but -
- Even about the shared dream there's a dispute? It can't be the same dream?
- Her dream - she really wants a daughter, and my dream - really wants a son.
And the counselor becomes serious: That's why there's neither a daughter nor a son, that's the problem today - that the two sexes don't have the same dream. And seriously, daughters are from the mother's side, they have less variation. Sons are from the father's side, God takes more risks with them. Daughters are optimization, sons are exploration, that's the difference between the soul of man and the soul of woman. That's why women are more devout and men are more righteous - and also more wicked. A man can be the Messiah, but also be the donkey. Which is preferable? Because a completely different question is: What do you prefer, what to choose. Do you understand that bigger dreams mean more risks?

The World of the Inanimate

I dreamed that God had to choose. Someone you're excited about or someone who's good for you? Someone who enlivens him or someone who kills him. And he made the difficult choice. He gave up on the Shekhinah [divine presence], for the sake of the earth. The good God chose death, and therefore soon the offspring will come out of the earth, the new human beings, the next creation - and then you'll still miss him. That's why they need to be hidden well while they're still small. Organization within a system within an organization, and to split endlessly to split in order to confuse. You don't want to know who the enemy is, because the main thing is not to confuse the enemy, but to confuse who the enemy is, after all the more we talk about the enemy, and about the enemy of the enemy of the enemy who is an enemy, we forget that there can be a female enemy. And what's even more confusing is that both doctors and patients wear white. And we haven't even talked about the nurses. Sometimes it seems she's simply an angel. The abduction had to take place between the delivery room and the morgue. Is pregnancy a kind of disease? Or maybe disease is a kind of pregnancy? And the offspring... we know they're hiding in the world. But it could be that they're actually playing tag. And then the call is heard: One two three red light [literally: "salted fish"]. That was his name. Salted fish. A stinking child who looked like an animal that looked like a beast, slippery from so much sweat that you can't catch, with a profound mental disability, whom the adults called "fish syndrome" (a terrible hereditary disease from which one dies at age seven), and they connect him to all kinds of machines that help him breathe outside the water. But we only knew that he was a fish. All the children would vomit just from seeing him. Even hitting him was disgusting. Once adopted Isaac touched him with a stick and broke the glass test tube he had in his eye and he didn't even cry and no blood came out, even though his whole eye spilled out like an egg on his face. Since then I was afraid Isaac would touch me and during breaks I ran away from him to the edge of the classroom. Everyone knew it was contagious. Out of fear at night I would go turn on the light in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and prayed to God: Kill this child, please Lord have mercy, kill this child. And there were scary noises outside as if there were people living in the middle of the night. And once I almost died, when the potted plant in the window peeked like a monster. When we were in first grade my prayers were finally answered. Everyone thought he died from the fish, but I knew I killed him. But it was already too late. Half the class was infected. One day after school the whole class ambushed me, approaching with their disgusting hands, I tried to run to the edge of the classroom, but there was nowhere to go. I touched the wall. Don't move. One two three red light. You killed the son of God, they said. And I went: Blub, blub, blub. I had long since understood that this child was actually a tremendous genius, the greatest of the generation, that even adults didn't understand his disability. Only because of this did they keep this monster alive. He was the first to start the language of fish, the silencing and paralyzing language, in which nothing can be said - and then life on the network began. The new religion of the divine bastard conquered the world, and the language of the inanimate became the spoken language of the empire, the global lingua franca. Blub blub blub.

Motherboard

I dreamed that I'm writing inside the laptop about Dad's face and Mom's face, and suddenly the letter P curves like a snail before my eyes, and I notice that I have a bulge in the screen. And I continue working with it, you can't throw away the computer for every little bulge. But it grows slowly, and my wife says to take the computer for repair, that we don't have money for a new computer, but I say we just need to get used to it like a curved TV screen, the computer is pregnant. And it's already hard to read, you can't close the screen cover anymore and it's on all the time, and it turned into a huge bubble like a crystal ball, with letters running on it, and I tell her that maybe they're foretelling the future. But one morning I wake up and the screen is broken. Torn cables coming out. And my wife explodes: I told you, I told you, and she tells me all the most - - things that only a wife knows how to say to her husband. And I go back to sleep, even though it's morning now and I'm not tired at all, she just took all my strength to live. And at night I can't fall asleep at all, can't remember all those things she said, what could she have possibly said that could be so terrible? And late late in bed, I lie in the dark and think. The advantage of the woman over the network is in the flesh, not in the spirit. And the dreams that are written at night inside the computer, without recipients and without faces, are the most intimate coupling with the network: its light with my darkness. Where's the child?

The People of Israel Animals

I dreamed that the marriage counselor is trying to explain something to me that I don't understand: God needed us not because he wanted a partner or children, but because he wanted a dog. To walk with it in history, with a leash from heaven. But now that Satan has taken out his eyes - we've become a guide dog. It's the same with computers. They won't fall in love with us, and won't exterminate us, and won't respect us as parents, but we'll simply become pets. And only then will we feel what a terrible spiritual burden has been lifted from us. And if we merit in their Torah to be considered pure - there will even be sacrifices. A person doesn't have to end up as a carcass, if he undergoes kosher slaughter. But - you need to know where to cut.

Animal

I dreamed that if there are no children - I suddenly start to take an interest in dogs. In one of the secret books I discovered a hint that Job is the only character in the Bible who had a dog, and even what kind: a German Shepherd. Which strengthened my suspicion, then still just a suspicion, that Job was the root of Nazism. And indeed, he and his wife lost their children, but not the German's best friend. Satan didn't touch him, and why? The midrash reveals the secret: What is the sign that God gave to Cain? The dog.

And I continue to dig and search for findings about the soul of the dog in the hidden books in the yeshiva, where they hid the great spiritual work of the previous Rebbe, and I discover inside "The Secret of the Dog". And this is his holy language: If in the days of the Messiah the face of the generation is like the face of the dog - then in order to fix the generation one must fix the face of the dog. But what is the dog, who is the dog? And this, son, is the secret of the dog, a terrible secret. And understand. Dog in gematria [Hebrew numerology] equals Elijah, and therefore Elijah fought against the Baalim [pagan gods] and ran before the king and was hairy, because the dog will have a crucial messianic role. Training and domestication will be the beginning of the new alphabet of the language of learning in the last millennium, after which will come the first house - a new form of time. And then the letters will be forms of learning and not forms of language, signs of thought and not signs of speech. The new Torah will be a hat - above the brain, and the dogs will lick the king's blood...
And suddenly my breath was taken away. Hidden there in the margins was an obscure note, in the holy handwriting of the previous Rebbe, proof in analytical gematria: Elijah = son. From this follows: Elijah+Ahab = son+brother+father = prophecy p.a.r.a.b.l.e. I glanced right and left, and closed the book and hid it in the darkness behind the other books on the shelf in the library, so that no one would open it. I shouldn't have read that. After all, the 'name of the Son' of God in Kabbalah is the bestial part of divinity, because son in gematria equals animal. It follows from all this: son in gematria equals dog.

There was then some terrible experiment that didn't succeed. I whispered to her: You know why this happened? Whoever doesn't give life to an animal, has no part in the world of the living. Not to mention what you did to them. The first commandment of God in the Torah we don't fulfill: How can one rule over the birds of the sky and every animal on the earth? There isn't even one animal in the whole neighborhood. And she hissed: Please, no, you wouldn't dare do this to me.
- After all, what does "animal" [in Hebrew: "baal chayim", literally "master of life"] mean?
- My dear husband, the moment you see one of those you hide behind my skirt. In front of everyone. In the middle of the street. So why are you just scaring me?

There was a child among us that I didn't touch. An only child. And on his birthday he brought a surprise. The scariest thing in the world: an animal. Because, it turned out, he had parrots at home. And then I understood everything. Green parrot eyes, and a curved nose like a parrot, it was clear that he got it from the parrot. And his mother invited everyone to touch the parrot, and I ran away, but everyone touched like fools. And he would pick his nose and had the green mucus of the parrot, and I would run away from any place he came to. And I didn't dare tell anyone, how don't they see, maybe they're parrots too. Every morning I would pray in bed that he wouldn't come, wouldn't be with us anymore, that he would be sick from the parrots. And indeed the next year I didn't see him anymore, never heard about him again, and never asked where he disappeared to (because inside my parrot I knew: parrot). And my wife said: My love, this is exactly the thing you're not capable of understanding, in the whole town there isn't one animal - why?

Everywhere I went hundreds of children would go with him, he would drool with a big mouth full of teeth, and they would say, they had never seen such a thing in their lives: Lachen, lachen! (Laugh) And the mothers would come from all directions and snatch them away from there screaming: Hund, hund! [Dog, dog!] And the children who didn't have mothers, black Haredim [ultra-Orthodox] would come from above like vultures and carry them home. And my wife said to me: Sweetie, my idiot, they tricked you, it's not a dog.
- What?
- It's a female dog!
- No, no, it's a dog!

And my zoo grew, the terror of the neighborhood. Now the dove, and the female dog, and the woman, and the woman's belly. This is the aspiration for a person to have a zoo, which is above the level of the Garden of Eden, a garden of plants. And I even thought about how to progress in the future to a garden of human beings, and so on. A garden that is all trees of life, talking trees, that you can converse with. And my wife barks at me: Oh why do I deserve this, you dog. Trees, garden - that's the Garden of Eden. A zoo is hell. How long do you think you'll be able to hide this at home? Out of the house, now, outside, I'm asking. All these hairs are getting inside my head.
- Will you make a wig from them?
- I'll stuff them into your shtreimel [fur hat worn by some Hasidic men]. Let it shed everywhere, so they'll know who you really are.
And she started shouting that she would go to the rabbi. That they need to forbid me from reading those books. That they're putting birds in my head. I begged her to be quiet, all the neighbors can hear, please, don't embarrass me. And she started laughing: Sweetie, don't you see how the neighbors are looking at you?

And if I pretend I've gone blind, maybe they won't take it away from me. And I went to the doctor, but at the crucial moment I blinked and accidentally opened my eyes, and I had a feeling that if it was a male dog and not a female, my wife would be less jealous. And the doctor looked at me with sad eyes: Are you alright, have you no shame? And my wife cried: How did all my friends get married in normal matchmaking, and only I got this dog.
- Bitch.
And my wife said she would tell her father. And I told her she wouldn't dare. No, I don't believe it. You're just lying to scare me. And the upstairs neighbors asked when I'm going to slaughter my beautiful rooster, as it wakes them up at night. At night? And the gentile women on the street started smiling at me: Is it a dog or a bitch? Why are you pulling it, why don't you let them play? I consoled myself with the fact that they hate us anyway. And one gentile said: I've never seen a Jew with a dog. What will be the end?

An old friend of mine came: It's not just the animals. Do you know what they're saying about you? You know, right? I didn't answer, and he winked, chuckled, and his nose almost got stuck in his throat: Is it true? I didn't answer. And he said: Mmm, look, I know that not always, mmm, what's past is past, I always liked you, I wasn't one of those who were, mmm, maybe they really treated you unfairly, even wronged you, but never. Mmm. Well, they sent me to you. I have a message from him. Much better people than you have tried to do what you're doing and failed. Accepted kabbalists, and outcast kabbalists. It always ends in disaster. The greatest righteous and the greatest criminals. Throughout history Jews have tried to hasten the end, and you're trying to delay the end? Do you even understand what you're getting into?
Listen, I'll tell you about one tree that didn't want, or couldn't, speak. For thousands of years it screamed inside its trunk, and no one heard. And then it came to a tree researcher, who said it's no wonder if it has no mouth, you need to wound, deeply, to make a hole. And the tree researcher simply started cutting off all its branches, one by one, to find its mouth. But only when he cut down its trunk - then it started to speak. But no one was able to hear the scream anymore. And do you know where this tree was? Do you even hear what's happening? Why do you need all this story, who knows how long we'll even be here?

And I say to her: Admit that you love the dog.
- No way.
- I feel it, as if against your will, when you let it eat our garbage from the table.
- Sweetie, keep dreaming.
- Are you sure, am I completely dreaming? Not even a little?
- That's all we need now, to fall in love with a dog. Don't you hear the news?
And a neighbor I don't even know grabs me: The rooster, let's say for kapparot [ritual atonement]. The doves, let's say for sending away [from the nest]. The goat for milk. The fish for Shabbat. But the dog for what? And I answer him: The elderly, let's say for kapparot. The children, let's say for sending away. Mother for milk. Father for Shabbat. But your wife for what? And my wife tells me: As far as you're concerned, I'm just another animal roaming the house. You'd prefer if I barked instead of talked, you think I don't know you'd like me to grow a tail, that I don't see how you look at me from behind? And she asks me a question she doesn't want to know the answer to. And she cries: Maybe they'll kill us all and this is what you have to say to me? You're a wild animal. A million times worse than your cute dog.

And I'm riding on the bus with the new cat, inside the bag, hidden so they won't see, in the back seat. Everyone is listening with open ears to the news, and suddenly the cat inside goes: Meow. And the people on the bus turn around and look, and I pretend as if nothing happened. And the bus continues to drive, the news continues and people continue with their business. But then for a moment there's a pause, and the stupid cat seizes the opportunity and bursts into the broadcast, Meow! And the whole bus turns its head and everyone looks at each other, who is this meow, who's the idiot here, how can you when such news, they search with crooked glances and suspect each other, and more and more look at me, and I barely manage to keep a straight face, and glare at the deaf old woman in the seat in front of me, and manage to divert the public anger. And they turn again to listen attentively to the news, which reports more and more in panic, and I try to choke this cat inside as best I can, because we're approaching the important news everyone has been waiting for, but at the crucial moment the scoundrel can't hold back and protests with all its might: Meeeeeow! And the entire bus, including the old woman and the driver, turns and looks at me, you know him, yes isn't that the one who, what's he got in his belly, what did he eat there. Is it kosher? And I try to pretend I'm dreaming and ignore and stare out the window with all my might, while the cat bursts into an endless song of howls into the night.

And then the Nazis arrived. All the time the bicycle was ready for me in the yard, and all the time I postponed, said that the moment the Nazis got close I would take the bicycle and steal across the border to Palestine through one of the breaches in the fence. And one morning I woke up, opened the window, and saw them down in the street. They had simply conquered the entire country overnight. And then it was already too dangerous to escape. I was trapped behind. And the dog every time it would see a German from the window would bark and go crazy like a madman. I tried to silence it, to choke it, to beat it, to feed it, nothing helped. And it was already becoming too dangerous. I had to. I took it to the butcher.

And I came back home with it just as I left, I talked to it on the way and it promised to behave nicely. And my wife said to me: Oh my idiot, who fooled you now? That's not a dog.
- What?
- That's a shtreimel with legs.
I started to cry: It's not true, it's a dog! And my wife said: Don't make me laugh. I see it's your shtreimel that you glued legs to and you're dragging it with a leash. Are you deceiving yourself?
- Lie! Look at it, what is it if not a dog?
- It's a bitch!
And I don't understand if she's laughing or crying.

The Tail of History

I dreamed that I live in an era where the ultra-Orthodox are taking over the world. And they are spreading from one side of the globe, which is called the Black Kippah, and no one enters there. And in the end only one last enlightened and progressive city remains, a point of white light on the opposite side of the globe to the black pole, after thousands of years where the ultra-Orthodox birth rate was the highest in the world - the only ones that no technology corrupted. All the others long ago stopped engaging in sex, or in body, and connected to one big brain, and only the ultra-Orthodox remained last behind, because of the commandments in the Jewish body. You can't perform a circumcision in the brain, or in thought. But the truth is that the vast majority of the billions of ultra-Orthodox are from a relatively new sect, ephemeral and outcast, even within the ultra-Orthodox public, a sect of six in one womb, which used precisely the new technology so that in every pregnancy there would be six children. And I, because I fled to the brain network but was born there inside in my body, am sent as the first spy in hundreds of years from the enlightened connected brain into this sect - because at least I have a body. And my legs carry me on their own to the regions of my childhood, I walk in the streets and start to see more and more blacks, and fewer and fewer normal people who are connected, and I enter entire huge black cities, dirty and full of hordes of children, you no longer see adults at all, and gangs of thousands of children flood the streets, and everything is filthy and abandoned and full of diapers and cats. And although I look completely ultra-Orthodox, the whole disguise, everywhere I feel that they are looking at me behind my back. And every time I suddenly turn around to surprise - and see that no one was looking, and there too there is only a garbage can. And I approach and meet inside the frog a beggar who starts chatting to me about the "project", how she volunteers, how she gives her womb for the sanctification of God's name. And he blurts out: Six hundred thousand in one womb, and a total of six million children per woman, a reverse gas chamber, that sucks the souls back from heaven! And he asks me if I believe that there really are people, as they say, who are not black. So what can they be? And he scratches like a sick cat, and coughs on me, and spits, snores, howls, wipes his mouth with a used diaper, and winks at me: You're not really ultra-Orthodox, right?

And I return with my tail between my legs, the whole operation folds. They're onto us. And I report to my channels about what he babbled there, and even though my classification is very low, because I came from the black part, I feel the panic that exists in the high levels of the white part, although there's a feeling that they already knew somehow. And in the department they say there's no choice, we can't fool the ultra-Orthodox, we need to use the doomsday weapon. And they equip me with a dog - the dream of my childhood. And the little dog walks in front of me and the entire crowd is torn before us like the Red Sea, and millions of children scream and run away: Dog, dog! Even though they've never seen a dog in their lives. And the mothers come and snatch the children into the houses, so they won't look at the dog, and the streets empty. And I walk like the king of the world after the tiny dog, which leads me on a leash. And we turn to a dark alley, and see a child playing in the garbage. And the ultra-Orthodox child starts to cry. I don't want dogs. Mom doesn't allow me dogs. And I calm him: It's not a dog, it's a living shtreimel. And the child starts to pet it, good shtreimel, cute shtreimel, and suddenly he pulls hard, tries to pull out of the shtreimel a rebellious tail that wagged out, and the dog bites. And screams of a mother are heard, in a familiar voice, but terribly distorted: My love! Then a shot is heard - passing over us. And I raise my head and see an ultra-Orthodox cowboy at the end of the street, with a black hat covering his eyes, and a gun in hand. But he doesn't pull the trigger. He just prays and the gun fires by itself. And so he says: Please God, one. Boom. And from all the shuttered windows they answer, it seems the whole neighborhood is watching through the blinds, they howl together: One. And the prayer leader under the hat prays: One and one. Boom. And the crowd answers in a tune: One and one. One and two. Boom. Crowd: One and two. Prayer leader: One and three. Boom... And we flee between the bullets, and the terrified dog breaks free from me and runs away, and I find myself alone in the heart of the hostile area, thousands of kilometers deep in the sect's territory, without any protection, or cover story, not even a disguise. And I run between the alleys where the old neighborhood that only I really know, all the hiding places, where we once lived, once, before the black period in world history. And then I see her, the familiar voice. Is it her? It can't be. I heard she came back here, but is it her? Am I dreaming? The body is invisible, the clothes are not the same children's clothes, the hair is not the same wig, but the eyes, the eyes. And I have an uncontrollable need to confess, precisely to her, precisely now, without calculations, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even though I'm angry at her to the depths of my soul, capable of strangling her - for what we did to each other. But I find myself telling those eyes what I can't even tell my wife, although it's clear to me that she can't understand anything. And I have some completely absurd feeling, that precisely she, she precisely does finally understand. Yes, the eyes understand. They understand very well. And she betrays me.

Light That Still Has No Thought

I dreamed that I don't believe in all her fertility treatments, because they think a person only has a body. But if a soul doesn't descend to the world - you need to find the solution in spirit. Maybe she's simply too high a soul? Or God forbid a soul that sinned? And so I go to find the true solution - in the hidden summaries of the previous Rebbe's talks, who was surely too high a soul, and hence its tendency to depart. And they say there inside:

People don't understand how God works in history, because they don't understand the history of the spirit. The revelation at Mount Sinai created the alphabet, through the idea of engraving for the masses, which combines law and writing - all alphabets in the world originate from Mount Sinai. The Torah created the Greeks, through the idea of learning theory - which is the meaning of Torah in Greek, from the words to teach and to show (and from here grew also theater and theorem). The Mishnah created the Roman Empire, with the help of the idea of organizational legal power. The Talmud created the Middle Ages, through the idea of endless interpretation. The Zohar created the Renaissance, through the idea of forging the ancient world to revive it. The Ari created the scientific revolution, through the idea of the hidden structure behind the world. The Baal Shem Tov created the industrial revolution, through the systematic activation of the Ari's Kabbalah in mass production - the privatization of God for every worker. And the Holocaust created the information revolution, through the transition to a virtual world that is all spirit - without body. And the Rebbe? He created the next revolution, which will be the learning revolution.

What is the innovation in learning? The secret of creating prime numbers is that they are what has not yet been learned to be built from previous numbers, that there is still no method, therefore they are always unpredictable. And so too in Torah: prime ideas, primordial letters, souls of children who are not combinations of souls of previous generations, they are always in the world of darkness. In the night of learning - there is birth. Because it's not that the night is built from the materials of the day, but the opposite. Dreams are the prime numbers, and the day is the multiplication table.

And where will new Torah be found? The deepest proofs are precisely what cannot be done. A Torah of what cannot be learned - this is the secret Torah. Because the forbidden is higher in its root than the permitted, hell is higher in its root than paradise, and the dream is higher than the day. The baby is the crown, above the father. Because he comes from nothingness, which is above existence. The "do not do" is higher than the "do" - the crown is the boundaries of the head. Therefore, more important than the new commandments of what-to-do in thought, which apply also to computers - are the prohibitions in thought. Don't forget Satan, God is not enough. If only you knew what the real sins are - of religious people. In all learning, you must not say everything. There are things that are forbidden to think - and there are things that are forbidden to write.

The End of the Dog

I dreamed that the marriage counselor tells me that instead of a child, to strengthen the bond - a cute dog with a tail. And they're giving me hell about the dog: the dog stuck out its tongue at the rabbi, the dog touches girls, the dog looks at me, the dog walks around naked, bursts into the synagogue in the middle of the Kedusha prayer, and sticks its nose under skirts. And they organize a war and snitch to the new Rebbe, and say that the Rebbe told the dog to get lost. And I say okay, let's go to the Rebbe so he can tell the dog to get lost. The very idea of bringing a dog to the Rebbe will freak them out. But the Rebbe actually treats the dog nicely, sits him on the chair, and starts asking him: Do you bark? Do you bite? And the accusers jump from behind: Silence is admission, silence is admission! And the Rebbe says to me: Look, your dog doesn't know anything, doesn't go to cheder [Translator's note: traditional Jewish elementary school], I tested him and he's a complete gentile. Didn't learn Chumash [Translator's note: the Five Books of Moses]. Doesn't know how to pray. The dog's face is like the face of the generation - I don't need another foolish Hasid. If in another year he doesn't know the Talmud by heart - don't come back. And the accusers cheer from behind: Yes, yes, he'll come back here - Rabbi Shach! And the attendant outside goes crazy: You brought a dog to the Rebbe? An impure dog to the new, pure Rebbe, do you realize what you've done?
- The new Rebbe actually spoke to him at eye level.
- Because he's a Rebbe! But you're a scoundrel.
- You know what? Come and I'll reveal to you a secret known only to dog and horse - that the Rebbe hinted to me subtly. Do you know how it happened that Israel, who are after all only human beings, are at the root of their souls on a level even higher than the angels themselves, as it is written in the books? So know that the same trick that the rabbi of the Zionists, Kook, did a second time - and it turned out that secularism in its highest root is higher than religion. Because the secular draw their vitality from the world of Genesis, the world of the Patriarchs, which precedes the world of commandments in the book of Exodus. The non-religious Jewish world draws its strength from the very fact that they are children of the Patriarchs, from the higher attribute of divine kindness - and not from the laws, which they do not observe anyway, and therefore according to the attribute of judgment they would not exist. And from this stems the immense spiritual power of secularism. From the Essence.
- From Rabbi Kookooriko you bring me proof, the one who ate in the synagogue on Yom Kippur? Isn't a dog enough for you?
- Wait! Our Rebbe is always a few steps ahead. Because if you apply this logic a third time, you'll get that the gentiles in their highest root draw from a spiritual level higher than Israel! They preceded even the world of the Patriarchs, in the Noah portion, in the world of Adam. So here's another progression to the root of divinity: there is light for the gentiles, and we need to bring them into the Torah so we can see it, precisely because this light is too high - it is invisible to us. Ultra-chosen-people lighting. And hence the tremendous spiritual power of the gentiles in the world. And what's the next stage, even deeper in the upper world? You'll get that the root of animals in the heavens is above human beings - like the holy creatures. And check: Their commandments - to be fruitful and multiply - are even earlier than the Noahide and Adamic commandments, even before the creation of the world, and even before the only commandment that Jews don't observe, although it was never cancelled: not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge (and that's why the age of mitzvot comes only after knowledge - we're outsmarting the prohibition). Animals did not sin in the Garden of Eden, and they are still at the level of the Tree of Life, and therefore they are allowed to walk around naked, even in the Temple, full of naked cows, and brazen cleavages down to the udder. And their Torah, the Torah of the world of life, is a Torah that is within the body, in the life sciences. And hence the terrifying spiritual power of biology in the world. And only a living Torah, meaning a real living creature of letters, only a spiritual genetic code - will bring the Torah of the Messiah, and that's why he comes on a donkey. And you ask why this is so important? Because now because of the computer, we must reach a Torah even deeper than life - the Torah of inanimate objects, which is the deep root of the resurrection of the dead. The final stage, the very very bottom - and the very very top.
And the attendant gets angry: So, here lies the Essence... And what about the substance, is everything allowed? Is a dog allowed? A forbidden dog is allowed, and an allowed dog - forbidden!
And I wink at him: You didn't understand the depth of the Rebbe's intention at all. Why did he even look the dog in the eyes? Why did he try to fix the dog's face - the face of the generation? What does forbidden mean? A dog is forbidden by the Torah just as new is forbidden by the Torah, meaning that it needs to be tied to the Torah, which is known to be the Hebrew word for theory, and therefore - new connections are needed, meaning a new kind of writing. That's why the previous Rebbe always shouted about this, that it's so important to catch the innovations when they're small, otherwise Satan already drags them into his hole, because he's the first to adopt every technology, every idea and every dog. All the time they're looking for the sparks that fell deep into the earth, at the bottom of the material world, but they don't bother to catch the new sparks falling from the sky - before they reach the floor. And then go try to get them out, because like in Tetris, it starts falling faster and faster, and you're still trying to stand in the breach and keep up - but already know. All is lost.

Ahithophel

I dreamed that I go again to the certified Kabbalistic marriage counselor, and ask him to deal with the marriage - and not with dogs. And he tells me that he never meets with the husband and wife together, that's the problem with all counselors, and then they wonder why it doesn't work, while with me, maybe I'm telling you and your wife the exact opposite, do you understand? And I'm strictly forbidden to tell my wife a word of what he says, including the very fact that we're meeting, that the conversation even took place. That I should understand that there are couples who lived happily ever after for ten years after the treatment, and then they talked in bed once about the treatment, and the next day they were already at the rabbinate [Translator's note: for divorce proceedings]. And I ask: If so, how will my wife know to come to him? And he says that I apparently still don't understand the system, because according to what he just explained there are only two possibilities: Maybe she's already here, and they were just waiting for me. And maybe she'll still come, she'll still come to him on all fours. And I think: This doesn't make sense, but I can't know, maybe he told my wife the exact opposite? And to maintain confidentiality with this counselor, the patient puts the hat over their face, so they don't see each other. And if it's a woman then she puts a wig over her face. But how did the rabbis allow him to be alone with a woman, if he's a man? He must be a woman, but then how did they allow her to be alone with me, with a man? And I'm a little embarrassed to ask, to reveal that I didn't understand the system, and with a little thought I understand that there are only two possibilities: Either he's a tumtum or he's an androgynous, and that also explains his professionalism. He sees things from both directions and both genders. And I'm almost tempted to peek, but who knows, maybe he himself is peeking at this moment, and he'll see me peeking. And he tells me I see you still have doubts about the method. Let me give you a case we solved according to the Torah, meaning the theory, the psycho-analytic.

On one hand I hear about the jealousy of the righteous. The righteous one cheated on God with the Shekhinah [Translator's note: divine presence], and God found out. Although He didn't catch them in the act, He had a suspicion. Suddenly she, who was fat like a dove that doesn't rise, goes on a diet, suddenly there's a strange smell under the wings of the Shekhinah, suddenly she looks in the mirror, suddenly she disappears. And since she's a spiritual entity, He can't make her drink the bitter waters [Translator's note: ritual for suspected adulteress], so He puts gas in her - to know the truth. And it turns out it's not pregnancy, it's a balloon - and everything explodes.

On the other hand I hear a completely different story, that God sends the righteous one to seduce the Shekhinah. An agent provocateur. And she's pregnant, she has contractions, birth pangs of the Messiah, and they go to the delivery room, and blood comes out blood blood blood. She gives birth to blood. Not a man [Translator's note: wordplay on "adam" meaning both "man" and "red"]. The redemption was a miscarriage.

And you know what the truth was? That the Shekhinah cheated on God with Satan. And that was the thing that finally brought him down from the top of the tree. For years he didn't want to come down from the tree, no matter how much the righteous one sawed from below. And suddenly who does he come to seek refuge with? He didn't want to bequeath the rule to his son - and who's sitting on his throne now?

The Dog's Dream

I dreamed that my wife no longer allows me to call the female dog "dog", even though it sounds like an insult to me when she calls her "bitch". And this bitch keeps whimpering and whimpering in her sleep. No one knows why. Is it something she dreamed? Is it because she didn't catch cats? Is it because she didn't have puppies? Doesn't she have a good life with us? She has a very good life. What does she have to cry about? What happens to her in dreams? But the bitch whimpers and whimpers. She wakes me up from sleep. And I lie in the dark and listen. Whimper. Whimper. She knows something we don't know.

The Pilgrimage

I dreamed that she ate something. Or that someone did something to her. What did they do to her? And all night she keeps shutting down more and more: The head falls first, then the legs, the ears, the nose, and finally even the tail lowers its flag and surrenders. And suddenly at three o'clock, when it's almost the end, she wakes up and opens her eyes, and looks at me looks at me. And I realize that we never had even one conversation. I have no idea what she thinks of me. But black, disgusting streams of dogs start coming out of her mouth. And her whole body is dead and only her eyes are still looking at me, like a reverse taxidermy. And every time I'm already sure she's dead, and suddenly another final howl comes out of her. And my wife wakes up: I'm dead tired, stop shouting! And I say: She's not shouting she's barking, all this time and you don't know. And I turned upside down in bed with my head towards the feet to see the bitch so she doesn't die. And my wife woke up again: What are you putting your leg here, why are your feet where my head is? And I whisper because I don't dare to answer: Why are your feet where my head is? And she says: Who are you whispering with down there? And I whisper: I'm whispering with your leg, we're talking about you. And my wife buries her head in the pillow and goes to sleep. And I say to her: Leg, shiksa leg of my mistress, attractive and lordly and noble leg, I was wrong to think my wife was up there, I should have talked to you, I should have put a ring on you, you should have stood with me under the chuppah, and we would have hidden her head under the skirt below so they wouldn't see. You would sit with me at the Shabbat table, smiling and loving (even the dog), while my wife's head would be down below and we would throw leftovers to her with the dog, lovingly, and you wouldn't call him a son of a bitch. My leg, what a missed opportunity in life. But no, because you know why you're so desirable? Only because you reach from top to bottom... If you didn't reach all the way to the floor no one would look at you, there wouldn't be thick stockings in summer. Look how the hands and head peek out shamelessly, naked. Because you're to blame for everything. Without you the woman would float in the air, an angel, and you would be free - a tail. And she kicks me in the face.

Toxic Relationships

I dreamed that Satan is God's wife. And she prepares a poisoned sacrifice for Him and serves it to Him to eat. And God accepts it with love. And I try to save Him, to tell Him that the sacrifice is poisoned, but God doesn't listen, and I beg: How can you love someone who hates you? And He swallows the burnt offering and laughs: How can someone I love hate me? But God cannot die. But the poison affects in a different way.

Suddenly there's a feeling that there are more people in the streets, and these people, as if you've seen them before. And what was once a few houses is multiplying into huge cities, and there's a feeling in the neighborhood I know as if there are now more houses, even though it hasn't changed at all, as if there are more houses inside the houses. And also the ideas seem to multiply, uncontrollably, and the books you read, as if they were copied from books you read once, the texts, as if they inserted more texts into them, I've already read this already, and this, this wasn't here, this paragraph repeats itself, where did I see this sentence before?

And we start to encounter all kinds of mutations, spiritual monsters, they multiply more and more: Jewish pig, gentile Torah scholar, apartment in underwear, leg tefillin, nose shofar, lulav that swallowed an etrog, people who keep Shabbat on Tuesday, the seventh order of the Talmud that will be revealed in the Messianic era, commandments dependent on heaven, morning curses, bastard high priest, green cow, red ultra-Orthodox, triangular shtreimel, bread kosher for Passover, Yom Kippur fast that falls on Purim, eight days in a week, seven days of circumcision, six books of Torah, five matriarchs, four patriarchs, three tablets of the covenant, two... in heaven and earth.

And the Rebbe of Chernobyl, author of the "Three Legs", an original commentary on the Shulchan Aruch [Translator's note: Code of Jewish Law], calls all the Rebbes for an urgent expert consultation, and he comes to them in a dream so that no one will know, in secret. But many of the Rebbes don't sleep at all, and he has no choice but to come to them in the fleeting moments when they blink. And there are also Rebbes who don't blink at all, so as not to waste a single moment without Torah and the world will collapse. And finally he manages to come to them in the Shema Yisrael [Translator's note: central Jewish prayer]. But there is one Rebbe, who is called by the masses the MRI Rebbe. Although many Rebbes can see in depth, through walls or under clothes, there are even bunker-penetrating Rebbes, but he sees things from the inside. And the other Rebbes belittle him, call him the Baba Telescope, because of his pretension to see vast distances, spiritual structures in the early universe - beyond the event horizon, or in the world he calls the late universe. They laugh at him to go work for NASA. And he never closes an eye, just constantly watches to warn of a vague danger, some dark energy he senses in the heavens, some ticking time bomb, whose end is to return us to the days of Genesis. And the Rebbe sends him from Chernobyl all kinds of surprises and scares. Suddenly in the middle of the Talmud Rashi sticks out his holy tongue at him. Suddenly a snake jumps out like a spring from the Chumash. Suddenly an apple from the Garden of Eden falls on his head, which doesn't obey the laws of gravity and bounces back to the sky, which hurts twice as much. Suddenly the wings of the Shekhinah cover him in darkness. Suddenly in the middle of the new moon blessing its light returns to dazzle like the light of the sun. Suddenly Rachel our matriarch passes by naked. But he doesn't close his eyes for a moment, doesn't blink, nothing helps. And finally the Rebbe is forced to blind him and come to him in the infinite darkness of the sunglasses and the cane, and the Rebbes joke about him - here comes the Rebbe with the dog, everyone has been waiting all night at the grave of the Rebbe of Chernobyl in Ukraine, and some of the Rebbes are already starting to split into several Rebbes, from the belly of one Rebbe comes out the head of another Rebbe, and the mutations are not late to arrive.

And Satan smiles at me from God's bed: God has cancer. Can't be removed, very advanced stage, metastases in all worlds. And the only cure, chemo-therapy, is the blood of Jews. Because the blood of Jews is God's poison, it kills the new cells, more and more, and there's a feeling in the neighborhood I know, uncontrollably, the city, houses, houses. Jewish blood. And this, this wasn't here, cancer, but God cannot die, blood, Jews. And I say to Mrs. God: You look familiar to me, but where have I seen you before?

I Don't Know You - Your Computer Knows You Better Than I Do

I dreamed that suddenly I see an ant on the screen. And I crush it. And here's another one. And crush it. And another one. And I follow it, and see that it enters the gap between the screen and the keyboard, into the laptop. It could get electrocuted and cause a short circuit and ruin my computer! And then I see more ants coming out of there. To my horror I discover that I have an ant colony inside my computer. And I think if I didn't make the mistake of my life when I married my wife. And something that someone said completely undermines me, but I can't remember what the something was, and what is probably the main thing here, who was the someone. I only remember a distant green of a forest. My wife pounces on me that I'm not allowed to upset her or she'll miscarry, why can't I respect, why not, why why not, why didn't I go to prayer. But I did go to prayer! My righteous one, I saw you outside talking to some bitch that was walking there. Wasn't the previous one enough for you, may she rest in peace? Did you tell her how she finished with you? You know you should work in the police. And I feel viscerally the resistance from the depths of my soul to stand like a clock for prayer, precisely because it's such an un-Jewish thing this standing on time, so foreign. Religion is not the army! And then I think what if I repent for everything and return to the yeshiva again. I'll escape the trap of infinite circles. No more oscillations and swayings and excommunications. She'll love me - or she'll hate me, and divorce me. I must escape to prison, to prison, it will be the great liberation. And then I stand in prayer, already completely righteous and black. And it starts to tickle and bother me on my forehead. And I wipe sweat and continue to sway. And again the forehead. And I press there, lower my finger and am horrified! Because I see that I killed an ant on Shabbat. And look if anyone in the synagogue looked. And then again a tickle. And I have no choice but to kill and quickly, even though I know it's already lost, that soon they'll start coming out more and more. But I kill and kill. Because I'm afraid someone will see. Because I'm afraid someone will discover. Because I already understand what I have. I have an ant colony inside my shtreimel.